A good lawyer knows the law; a clever one takes the judge to lunch. — Mark Twain Clever Copy Share Image
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can read — Mark Twain Blind Copy Share Image
My father was an amazing man. The older I got, the smarter he got. — Mark Twain Amazing man Copy Share Image
There ain't no way to find out why a snorer can't hear himself snore. — Mark Twain Funny Copy Share Image
Humorists of the 'mere' sort cannot survive. Humor is only a fragrance, a decoration. — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
A banker is somebody who lends you an umbrella & takes it away as soon as it starts raining. — Mark Twain Banker Copy Share Image
A country without a patent office and good patent laws is just a crab, and can't travel any way but sideways and… — Mark Twain Country Copy Share Image
“When you find yourself on the side of the majority, you should pause and reflect.” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I could have become a soldier if I had waited; I knew more about retreating than the man who invented retreating. — Mark Twain Army Copy Share Image
Grown people everywhere are always likely to cling to the religion they were brought up in. — Mark Twain Inspirational Copy Share Image
I used to think my father was an idiot, until I turned twenty-one... Then I thought he was a genus. — Mark Twain Father Copy Share Image
We often feel sad in the presence of music without words; and often more than that in the presence of music without… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Agassiz does recommend authors to eat fish, because the phosphorus in it makes brains. But I cannot help you to a decision… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I do love compliments, yet I'm often embarrassed to say what I think to the person when I get a compliment. I… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is no such thing as material covetousness. All covetousness is spiritual. ...Any so-called material thing that you want is merely a… — Mark Twain Covetousness Copy Share Image
It is easy to make plans in this world; even a cat can do it; and when one is out in those… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Familiarity breeds contempt. How accurate that is. The reason we hold truth in such respect is because we have so little opportunity… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it, namely, that, in order to make a man or a… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It has always been a peculiarity of the human race that it keeps two sets of morals in stock-the private and the… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Artemus Ward used that trick a good deal; then when the belated audience presently caught the joke he would look up with… — Mark Twain Comedy Copy Share Image
“It seems a pity that the world should throw away so many good things merely because they are unwholesome. I doubt if… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The boys were amazed that I could make such a poem as that out of my own head, and so was I,… — Mark Twain Creativity Copy Share Image
“Now it is true that I could have learned without a teacher, but it would have been risky for me, because of… — Mark Twain Autodidact Copy Share Image
I thought tamarinds were made to eat, but that was probably not the idea. I ate several, and it seemed to me… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“The guide showed us a coffee-colored piece of sculpture which he said was considered to have come from the hand of Phidias,… — Mark Twain Nature Copy Share Image
“Within two minutes, or even less, he had forgotten all his troubles. Not because his troubles were one whit less heavy and… — Mark Twain Stranger Copy Share Image
I am trying to get the hang of this new fangled writing machine, but I am not making a shining success of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
... No photograph ever was good, yet, of anybody - hunger and thirst and utter wretchedness overtake the outlaw who invented it!… — Mark Twain Expression Copy Share Image
Balloon: Thing to take meteroric observations and commit suicide with. — Mark Twain Balloon Copy Share Image
