Joey Adams Quotes

17 quotes in 244 categories

• Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
• Never let a fool kiss you, or a kiss fool you.
• A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
• Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.
• If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at…
• Smack your child every day. If you don't know why - he does.
• The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win.
• Rockefeller once explained the secret of success. 'Get up early, work late - and strike oil.'
• If you break 100, watch your golf. If you break 80, watch your business.
• A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.
• Of course, it's very easy to be witty tomorrow, after you get a chance to do some research and rehearse your ad libs.
• People are still willing to do an honest day's work. The trouble is they want a week's pay for it.
• In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out.
• Do not worry about avoiding temptations.As you grow older it will avoid you.
• May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions!
• Most people play a fair game of golf - If you watch them.
• My friend Myron tells me, 'Last year on Mother's Day the whole family got together for a big dinner and afterward, when Mom started to…

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