Joe Bob Briggs Quotes

17 quotes in 227 categories

• Apparently we love our own cell phones but we hate everyone else's.
• As I've said many times, the single most oppressed class in America right now is the teenager.
• If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it "romance and adventure."
• The best ally you can have in breaking up a street fight is a grandmother.
• Discourse is fleeting, but junk mail is forever.
• Faith is like a kernel of wheat.
• Everything changed in Bosnia, when General Wesley Clark proved that you could fight a war with high- level precision air strikes and a bare minimum…
• I AM a male chauvinist. Who's been saying otherwise?
• The Italians always made good wine, but you had the impression they were friendly guys in straw hats running family vineyards with slaves or something…
• There is no post-9/11. Everything from now until the end of time is post-9/11.
• In some European theaters, it's still not uncommon to have a late start and three LONG intermissions, because people actually eat and drink and converse…
• It's not a crime to get drunk.
• A universal draft is most often the instrument of Third World dictators.
• Almost every venerable tradition at a men's club starts out as a joke.
• In other words, New York has gone all suburban and bourgeois on us.
• If you hate what you're seeing, you call it sex and violence. If you like it, you call it omance and adventure.

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