All Jay Mohr Quotes
- She's Cherokee Indian, which is great 'cause whenever we have sex, it rains. Cause
- What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change. Amendment
- You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day. Day
- Fantasy football is not only a good thing, but a great thing. Fantasy
- I never minded George Steinbrenner spending obscene amounts of money to put the best product on the field. Amount
- I hate golf. I do not understand how anyone can enjoy it, much less love it. Anyone
- I wonder why there is a designated hitter in baseball after all these years? As an experiment, it seemed like a swell enough idea, but… All
- If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks. Charge
- If it has to sell its mascot, your team sucks. Inspirational
- Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts. Contracts
- True Yankees are born, not made. Born
- Why are baseball managers the only coaches who dress up like the players? Baseball
- When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them. All
- I think golf is a waste of time and a waste of a sunny afternoon. I also stink at it. I have never found anything,… Afternoon
- Not everyone likes sports. Gandhi and Malcolm X come to mind. Everyone
- I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once. Mistake
- But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is… All
- I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very… Always Felt
- I wasn't the guy everyone liked. I was the guy that wouldn't shut up. Everyone
- I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone. Business