Jasper Fforde

Sometimes I don't know whether I'm thening or nowing.

— Jasper Fforde

If it's a chimera alert, we just follows the screams.

— Jasper Fforde

Every book should have a romance.

— Jasper Fforde

Agents and publishers only want one thing - good writing.

— Jasper Fforde

We're in a psuedoscientific technobabble.

— Jasper Fforde

Books" - Snell smiled - "are a kind of magic.

— Jasper Fforde

People don't change just because you know more about them.

— Jasper Fforde

Almost anything can be improved with the addition of bacon.

— Jasper Fforde

When I was about 10 or 11, I realised that people made movies; until then, I had thought they just happened.

— Jasper Fforde

Death, I had discovered long ago, was available in varying flavors, and none of them particularly palatable.

— Jasper Fforde

I would so hate to be a first-person character! Always on your guard, always having people read your thoughts!

— Jasper Fforde

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse.

— Jasper Fforde

“I wasn't particularly worried; running is overrated anyway, and sport only makes you sweaty and smug and wears out the knees.”

— Jasper Fforde

Fiction wouldn't be much fun without its fair share of scoundrels, and they have to live somewhere.

— Jasper Fforde

I've got six months to sort out the hackers, get the Japanese knotweed under control and find an acceptable form of narcissus.

— Jasper Fforde

Were you listening to a word I said ' 'I kind of switched off when you drew breath.

— Jasper Fforde

Social mores change with time, like fashion - who knows where it might all end up? I especially like the idea that…

— Jasper Fforde

“Did the memory erasure device work, Uncle?" "The what?" "The memory erasure device. You were testing it when I last saw you."…

— Jasper Fforde

Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to…

— Jasper Fforde

“I hate to admit it, but governmental deviousness is usually better explained by incompetence, vanity, and the need to protect one's job…

— Jasper Fforde

“My father said it was a delightfully odd - and dangerously self-destructive - quirk of humans that we were far more interested…

— Jasper Fforde

“By spiritually I merely mean that I feel I have good in my soul and am inclined to follow the correct course…

— Jasper Fforde

“You want me to spy on a National Colour operative?' 'Wow,' she said, 'you got it. I thought I was going to…

— Jasper Fforde

“Prices of semicolons, plot devices, prologues and inciting incidents continued to fall yesterday, lopping twenty points off the TomJones Index.”

— Jasper Fforde

“Ninety-seven minutes ago,” replied Copperfield. “Killed two male nurses and his doctor with his bare hands. The other three orderlies who accompanied…

— Jasper Fforde

“The youthful stationmaster wore a Blue Spot on his uniform and remonstrated with the driver that the train was a minute late,…

— Jasper Fforde

I started writing because I wanted to write scripts, but I wasn't very good at it. Then I started writing short stories,…

— Jasper Fforde

“She opened the door within two seconds of his pressing the doorbell, letting out a stream of cats that ran around with…

— Jasper Fforde

“My only companion from the outside world during nineteen years of isolation has been my personal hatred of Thursday Next. It's kind…

— Jasper Fforde

DCI Horner's advice to Jack Spratt: "Remember, m'boy," his old boss had said, eyes twinkling, "that if anyone tries to get the…

— Jasper Fforde

“What you see is what I am. I've not had my boobs done or my arse lifted, no nips, no tucks. No…

— Jasper Fforde

“I liked him, but since his particular field of interest was Remote Suggestion--the skill of projecting thoughts into people's heads from a…

— Jasper Fforde

For every expert there is an equal and opposite expert.

— Jasper Fforde

“Sometimes living in the BookWorld is like living in Legoland.”

— Jasper Fforde

The best plans are always the simplest.

— Jasper Fforde

the best lies to tell are the ones people want to believe

— Jasper Fforde

“To fail spectacularly is a loser's paradise.”

— Jasper Fforde

“Besides, I punched him in the eye.”

— Jasper Fforde

Her majesty is one verb short of a sentence.

— Jasper Fforde

He was, after all, the ultimate rebel -- it takes a lot of cojones to stand up to Zeus.

— Jasper Fforde