Jane Wagner Quotes

32 quotes in 470 categories

• I have gained and lost the same 10 pounds so many times over and over again my cellulite must have deja vu!
• I worry that our lives are like soap operas. We can go for months and not tune in to them, then six months later we…
• The human mind is kind of like a piñata. When it breaks open, there's a lot of surprises inside. Once you get the piñata perspective,…
• What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch.
• My space chums think reality was once a primitive method of crowd control that got out of hand. In my view, it’s absurdity dressed up…
• The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you.
• When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading.
• Language because of our deep inner need to complain....
• One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we…
• I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you.
• At the moment you are most in awe of all there is about life that you don't understand, you are closer to understanding it all…
• If evolution was worth its salt, by now it should've evolved something better than survival of the fittest. I think a better idea would be…
• I worry that humanity has been "advanced" to its present level of incompetency because evolution works on the Peter Principle.
• Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night.
• People don't need sex so much as they need to be listened to.
• If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?
• When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat.
• It's one thing to tolerate a boring marriage; a boring affair does not make sense.
• When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.
• The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

Browse Jane Wagner Quotes by Category