Whoever believes he knows why everything is as it is has hold of nothing. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
In the matrimonial life of the Jewish male every day is Yom Kippur. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Don't imagine that a word you say is going to make a blind bit of difference. — Howard Jacobson Blind Copy Share Image
We shouldn't be too hard on vanity. It can be a mark of respect for the world. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
“For matter out of place, as a famous anthropologist once described dirt.” — Howard Jacobson Anthropologist Copy Share Image
Not every anti-Semite is Joseph Goebbels. You can not like Jews much and be no great harm to them. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
It's a law of our natures, especially when the political fit is on us, to applaud where we already approve, and deride… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
You know you are grown sentimental when you start counting the cygnets on the duck pond in the park to be sure… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Let discernment in matters of fashion and entertainment determine who should get the vote, and half the country would be disenfranchised. — Howard Jacobson Country Copy Share Image
One of the great things about us Jews is that we tell the best jokes. Part of the reason is we tell… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
I've always felt that desire. To get a woman to throw back her head in laughter is a hot thing. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
“But what is the imagination for if not tto grasp how the world feels to those who don't think what you think?” — Howard Jacobson Imagination Copy Share Image
The Stop The War Coalition is a sort of home to Jew-haters because its hate music about Israel is so catchy. — Howard Jacobson Hate Copy Share Image
The queue and the fan are, of course, closely related in that fans will queue any length of time in any weather… — Howard Jacobson Devotion Copy Share Image
No good writer ever merely cheered us up. But there's an unblinking stare into the darkness of things we have to go… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
I have a son, but I've never had a daughter. I have a sister, and my sister had a fairly tempestuous relationship… — Howard Jacobson Children Copy Share Image
Rereading one's own novels after many years is always a fraught business, but when a novel has fallen out of print -… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
There was no question of ever sending us to Jewish schools... They wanted us out there. They wanted us to be lawyers… — Howard Jacobson Education Copy Share Image
Everything is susceptible to corruption of one sort or another - humanity is one big cheat - but it matters particularly with… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
Think of the aged and bed-ridden Matisse cutting out strips of coloured paper, much as a child might, and investing them with… — Howard Jacobson Artist Copy Share Image
Making America great again, as if to keep the world out. The world and all its fresh ideas and everything that's new… — Howard Jacobson America Copy Share Image
Shakespeare's always been sitting on my back, since I began reading. And, certainly, as a writer, he's who I hear all the… — Howard Jacobson Alone Copy Share Image
“Hephzibah normally left the dishes until the next day. Piled up in the sink so that it was near impossible to fill… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
It was reading Hamlet that ruined the concept of authenticity for me, not because Hamlet lacked existentialist credentials himself - indeed, as… — Howard Jacobson Authenticity Copy Share Image
“He didn’t want to feel better. He owed it to what he’d been told to feel worse. That was what living a… — Howard Jacobson Art Copy Share Image
There's a simple arithmetical logic at work. Build more unaffordable and not always architecturally sympathetic apartments, watch the rents rise, the tarts… — Howard Jacobson Design Copy Share Image
I am enthralled until the last ball Djokovic hits, and the moment it is over and he is on his knees eating… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
In anticipation of a meal - supposing we are with the ideal companion at the best table in the perfect restaurant -… — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
“to bar communication between intellectuals, who are always our best hope of peace, is particularly self-defeating and inane. It declares, inter alia,… — Howard Jacobson Communication Copy Share Image
For my own poor part, I go to great lengths to keep my nostrils sightly. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
You can imprison but you can't enslave a man who argues with his books. — Howard Jacobson Books Copy Share Image
When I was teaching at Cambridge, I sold handbags on the market. — Howard Jacobson Cambridge Copy Share Image
There's no law that says you have to be consistent in your preferences. — Howard Jacobson Copy Share Image
“So many unhappy women out there. Such a sea of female misery.” — Howard Jacobson Misery Copy Share Image
A healthy culture doesn't memorialise only those it agrees with. — Howard Jacobson Culture Copy Share Image
I could use the company but I can't go through the pain of getting it. — Howard Jacobson Business Copy Share Image
