When I was in college, I would go out, and I would go to these open mic nights at Stitches and Nick's… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Iowa's the worst. Iowa's just nothing, just flat as far as you can see. It's the only state in the country where… — Greg Fitzsimmons Country Copy Share Image
There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Ever see a skinny guy on a cold day? You know they tremble like Chihuahuas. Then you see a fat guy in… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
I don't gamble anymore since I had a kid. I have fun in Vegas. I see shows, Cirque du Soleil. Don Rickles… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Growing up with Bronx Irish parents during an era of protests against the status quo, I was especially committed to doing the… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
I don't like to change things too much. I think pretty hard about things before I jump in, and once I do,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
My dad was in radio; he was a broadcaster, and it was in the family. He hosted kind of a game show… — Greg Fitzsimmons Broadcaster Copy Share Image
When I work in San Francisco doing stand-up, I usually schedule it for July, and we'll drive up the coast and camp… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
As a single couple, we are no longer able to hang around with married couples 'cause they cannot be in our presence… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Trickle-down economics - it didn't work. The whole idea was supply-side economics: give rich people a lot of money; they'll spend it,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Economics Copy Share Image
My friend goes, 'If you're going to use Rogaine, just put it somewhere you're going to remember to use it everyday.' So… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Lieutenant Governor Paterson - blind, black guy - gets sworn in. First thing he says is, 'By the way, cheated on my… — Greg Fitzsimmons Accidents Copy Share Image
I've finally been able to trust and have intimacy with somebody, which I've never been able to do. Like a lot of… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
