That is the thing about being a writer; your subject matter may not stay your subject matter if you break their trust… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
I enjoy writing the same way I enjoy doing standup. Part of the challenge is being creative and making it work no… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Same thing every year, getting up at the crack of dawn, drinking, fighting, throwing up, pissing on walls and then you leave… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Trickle-down economics - it didn't work. The whole idea was supply-side economics: give rich people a lot of money; they'll spend it,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Economics Copy Share Image
As a single couple, we are no longer able to hang around with married couples 'cause they cannot be in our presence… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
My grandfather is from Ireland. His name is Florence McCarthy. He moved to New York in 1920. They used to beat him… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
My father told me when I first started that standup is exciting and I should pursue it, but that writing would be… — Greg Fitzsimmons Ability Copy Share Image
They just tested the tap water in Los Angeles and they found traces of estrogen and antidepressants in the tap water. So… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
Ever see a skinny guy on a cold day? You know they tremble like Chihuahuas. Then you see a fat guy in… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
I realized that every second that I'm alive, the world cares less about me. It's just a very linear, downward progression. And… — Greg Fitzsimmons Alive Copy Share Image
I called my grandmother yesterday. She picks up the phone, 'Oh hello, dear, hold on a second, I just stepped out of… — Greg Fitzsimmons Clothes Copy Share Image
Since first hearing the story as a child, any mention of the 'Boston Tea Party' has elicited in me an excitement that… — Greg Fitzsimmons America Copy Share Image
There's so many ways to do stand up, and I think, for awhile, people weren't really maximizing the freedom of it. We… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
When you're not 21, it's great to drink because you're not allowed to. You're a rebel: you gotta get a fake I.D.,… — Greg Fitzsimmons Copy Share Image
