Brian Regan Quotes

18 quotes in 338 categories

• If Einstein was so smart how come people only call you 'Einstein' when you do something really stupid ?
• It’s good to be here. I’m just trying to go through life without looking stupid. It’s not working out too well.
• I would have been a lot better off if I’d studied more when I was growing up, y’know. But you know where it all went…
• You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing all kinds of…
• I went to the juice isle, I learned something. Cranberries are taking over everything. What do you got, apples? Put some cranberrise in there, make…
• Mmmm! Lunch and no clean up!! Can life get better? I submit that it CANNOT!!
• Hooked on Phonics worked for me
• I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars.
• You see weird things driving... I've never understood log trucks. Sometimes you'll be out on the highway, you see two big giant trucks loaded up…
• I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve!
• Do not stand directly in front of a cannon...how true that is.
• Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this...skirmish.
• If you were to second guess your decision to book some time to visit an Indian community, that would be a reservation reservation reservation.
• I hate the phrase “One thing led to another”. What kind of lazy writing is that? Isn't it your job as a writer to tell…
• You know what's fun? You pick somebody at random, like out of the phone book, and send them about 100 'Just Because' cards. They can't…
• The big yellow one is the sun!
• "I saw this sign posted once, it said, 'blasting zone ahead'. Wow... shouldn't that read: Road Closed. What do you mean there's a blasting zone,…

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