Every man imagines that he will turn his suit like a double agent, that it can be twisted to his will with… — A. A. Gill Comedy Copy Share Image
In fact, everybody should wake up smelling nice. I go further, there is not an excuse, ever, not to smell nice, particularly… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Shorts are silly. Men in shorts are silly men. And silly is the very worst thing a man can be. — A. A. Gill Man Copy Share Image
Margaret Thatcher was as viscerally hated at home as she was warmly respected abroad. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
I'm terribly prone to anxiety. I get very depressed and I get very anxious and my anxiety is almost always about my… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
It's not in the nature of stoic Cincinnatians to boast, which is fortunate, really, for they have meager pickings to boast about. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
We have to thank the members of the Romantic movement for the sober colours of suits. It was their love of the… — A. A. Gill Grey Copy Share Image
Writing, for me, is the great organiser. It's while writing that I think most deeply about things. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
I'm frightened of my innate vanity. I mean: the suits lined with scarves? Even I know the warning signs. I could quite… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Celebrity is a national drama whose characters' parts and plots are written by the tabloids, gossip columnists, websites and interactive buttons. The… — A. A. Gill America Copy Share Image
Cowboy boots you can't wear unless you actually are a cowboy or in a Status Quo tribute band, or over 60; there's… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Gordon Brown is a character from a tragic opera, twisted by ambition and a Presbyterian sense of fateful destiny. He has waited… — A. A. Gill Character Copy Share Image
People who know there is a god and people who know there isn't live in exactly the same world. Same number of… — A. A. Gill Children Copy Share Image
My only piece of advice is that all of you consider every single text and Snapchat that you ever make as also… — A. A. Gill Advice Copy Share Image
Have you noticed that almost all the change in the world goes to women? When was the last time you had a… — A. A. Gill Change Copy Share Image
Being able to afford everything you desire is not, by any means, the worst thing that can happen to you. But, depressingly,… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Once upon a time, a historian told me that the most important choice a new historian could make was of his or… — A. A. Gill Choices Copy Share Image
I walk up a dune to a beach and look out to sea, but it's 100km away. The ships lie askew in… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
A broadsheet obituarist once pointed out to me that veteran soldiers die by rank. First to go are the generals, admirals and… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
A country scratching a lazy irritation at sagging doorjambs and late trains, whose greatest attribute is a collective, smelly tolerance, where a… — A. A. Gill Aspiration Copy Share Image
It's a great historical joke that when the Spanish met the Aztecs, it was a blind date made in serve-you-right heaven. At… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Television in the 1960s & 70s had just as much dross and the programmes were a lot more tediously patronising than they… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
As handbags get ever more absurdly large, so they need to carry more stuff to validate the expense of this huge trunk… — A. A. Gill Chains Copy Share Image
Sport is how poor kids from poor countries pass through the eye of the needle to riches and recognition. — A. A. Gill Country Copy Share Image
If you're bored, it's because someone else is fulfilling his dream. Become a bore. It's the most interesting thing you'll ever do. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
A lobster bisque ought to be the crowning glory of the potager. And this one was excellent. Silky as a gigolo's compliment… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Other people's traditions look charming and decorative and exotic. They're nice places to visit on holiday, but you wouldn't want to live… — A. A. Gill Culture Copy Share Image
Bald isn't like being ethnic or disabled. Everyone can and will make jokes about it and expect you to laugh good-naturedly, which… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
I don't have prejudices against anybody. I have opinions, based on a lifetime's experience. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
You don't have a choice about fashion or aesthetics - you're in it, whether you like it or not. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
Everyone has to go to a funeral at some time and you need to be dark and sombre, and in a black… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
People collect boredom, they hoard it, they wallow in it, hoping that one day it'll be of interest and become an effete… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
The reason that chefs become chefs is that they're not allowed into rooms with windows. — A. A. Gill Chef Copy Share Image
People who don't believe in God are no happier than people who do, and those who do believe are no nicer than… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
The real question is: if you knew there was a god, would you behave any differently? And if the answer is yes,… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
The pleasure in lovers' gifts is that they are often covert and secretive, worn next to the skin, hidden under pillows. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
The answer is that if God exists, he doesn't seem to mind if you believe in him or not. — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
And learn to tie a bow - it's not difficult and there's no excuse for either a clip-on or the hideous Hollywood… — A. A. Gill Copy Share Image
The part that makes you unique is the bit people will like or fear, fall in love with, or try to avoid. — A. A. Gill Fall in love Copy Share Image
I don't know how long a child will remain utterly static in front of the television, but my guess is that it… — A. A. Gill Children Copy Share Image
