“It's satisfying. It yields immediate results. Something is dirty. Then it's not.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Are you menstruating? what? You're angry. Women are often angry when they menstruate. It is the hormones.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“My two best friends are dead, which means they're great listeners now, but lousy as far as support goes.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“You want something to drink? Is this a trick question? Yes. I'm going to read your personality based on your beverage choices,… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Can I ask you something? Boxers. Briefs exacerbate my claustrophobia.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Have you ever been in love? Yes. What's it like? Great and terrible. Like Oz.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Our new intern sorts pot shards like some kind of savant. The other interns call himi Rain Man.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“I pray to a God I don't really have faith in just so I feel like I have company.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Please don't' ask me how I feel about it. If I had to pick a word, I'd say homicidal.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Just so we're clear, I dont' secretly want to have sex with either of my parents. Me either. I worked through that in college… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“Do you realize you're talking to yourself? Yes. It's good that you know the difference.” — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“I have two choices: attend my sister's dinner party or tie a plastic sack around my mother's head until she runs out of ngagging.… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
“It's old. Really old. Is that a technical term? Yeah, it's technical. Translation: I don't know how old it is, but it's really fucking… — Alex Adams Copy Share Image
