Being a parent is about your survival. Surviving the terrible two's is the most important thing. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
Police blog or entertainment news, it's just good to see your name in print. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You got to start by doing little things if your quest is to take over the world. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
If your boss asks you why you're comin' in late, you say it's 'cause you stayed late. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I wouldn't want to be someone's roommate, that's for sure. You can't do certain things: you can't leave the bathroom door open...… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does -… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
'The ruckus' is different experiences you go through throughout your life which builds your ruckus points up - your tolerance. You've got… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
To be a true comic, you have to have a signature move. You ever watch wrestling? And your favorite wrestler has the… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I tell people all the time, as I was going through my process of being a comedian or being an actor and… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I'm sure back in the Greek days or the Roman Empire days, when guys fought in arenas and were fighting lions, people… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share Image
You know what I like? I like classic stuff. I like 'The Andy Griffith Show' - the variety of characters was so amazing to… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
You have to fail, man, but you cannot allow failure to stop you from doing what you must do. Failing is just as good… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
If a director brings a guy to their movie who does improv, they've got to let him do what he does - otherwise it's… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
Improv relies just as much on listening as it does you delivering dialogue. That's the hard for some people. Some people just concentrate on… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
My life is gardening, cleaning around the house and power washing. I power wash everything: my wife, the mailman with the f-cking mail, power… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I believe, even when I'm doing my standup or my acting or whatever I'm doing, I believe in painting pictures. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I should be European, man. I'm long and lean. I'd look good in a trench coat. — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
Man, you can come see me six or seven times in a row and you'll never see the same show twice, because I don't… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I've done everything. Selling door-to-door fire extinguishers... In bars, I used to repair those machines that have 10 different buttons on them to spray… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I'm nice with damn kids, man. Kids love me. I can bounce back and forth. I can discipline kids and I can get into… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
You want your lady to be a contortionist. What man wouldn't want a lady who's a contortionist? — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
It's great when a director like Cameron Crowe can take what you do and fit it into what he's doing. If someone's a fan… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I live in New York right now but I'm originally from my daddy's nuts. We all are. Think about, we the lucky ones -… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
I think what I do in my acting world and what I do in my standup world is bring up a brand that I… — J. B. Smoove Copy Share
