The one thing I think we learned this year is that the Democrats and the Republicans are completely worthless. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college. — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
If you stop eating donutes you will live 3 years longer.It's just 3 more years that you want a donut. < . ) < . — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
My parents were married for sixty-five years, and I was married for about ten minutes, my first year at Yale Drama School.… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
When from behind me, a young woman of 25 uttered the following, it was the dumbest thing I have ever heard in… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
The whole Valentine's thing is fine, but you don't back it up right next to the biggest gift-giving holiday of the year.… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I went to New Zealand this year, and, whew man, I know a lot of people want to go there. But let… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think you have to [vote] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
My review of 2001, the year, is the same as my review of 2001: A Space Odyssey. It went on too long,… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
The worst thing about Halloween is, of course, candy corn. It's unbelievable to me. Candy corn is the only candy in the… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Behind me, I heard a young woman of 25 say, "If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown,… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
I think one reason people play golf is it allows them to obsess about something other than the daily crap. It takes your mind… — Lewis Black Copy Share
If you're going to vote for somebody because you think they have a great faith in God, you'd better be sure that God has… — Lewis Black Copy Share
I think that I don't panic as much as the folks on the left or the right do. I don't have that sense of… — Lewis Black Copy Share
“I don't know if you've noticed, but our two-party system is a bowl of shit looking at itself in the mirror.” — Lewis Black Copy Share
These ballot initiatives against same sex marriage remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so… — Lewis Black Copy Share
If you're going to pick a book and you want to base a system of government around it, why not 'Harry Potter?' — Lewis Black Copy Share
No matter what, your parents are going to worry about you. I had a tour bus, and my mother still thought I was broke.… — Lewis Black Copy Share
I'm always amazed when I hear people saying, "That George Bush, he's a great leader". And I wonder, where can one find a drug… — Lewis Black Copy Share
I knew that I'd lived in New York too long when, a few years ago, I was on a subway going downtown, and it… — Lewis Black Copy Share
If you're seeing a psychiatrist, you're wasting money because all you've got to do is get on a plane, get on a subway tomorrow… — Lewis Black Copy Share
Well first of all, I'd just like to say that 2005 was a great year, if you like swimming through crap. — Lewis Black Copy Share
I'd like the campaigning to be about all the things they're not going to do. Just tell me what you're not going do! Don't… — Lewis Black Copy Share
Johnny Vassilaros is the man who has created the finest cup of coffee ever served in the city of New York. — Lewis Black Copy Share
“At seven p.m., hope is sparked again when some new chirpy airline employee announces that a new plane without that nasty mechanical problem -… — Lewis Black Copy Share
![“I think you have to [vote] and the reason you have to go vote is an important one, and that is because the day you vote is the day that you will feel the most ineffectual you will feel all year.” quote by Lewis Black](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a06/lewis-black-1143_feels_i-think-you-have-to-vote-and-the-reason_865761.png)
