I don't have anything to do all year. I'm not on tour until September. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I think people with anxiety do different things during different years. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
If, for some reason, everyone knew who I was without me having to have my own TV show, that's what I would… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Even if it's L.A. and it's warmer, we're not supposed to be revving up right now. I don't like everyone's energy around… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
My birthday is in August - right before September, so I have that "back to school" feeling ingrained in me so that… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The whole notion that I don't appeal to the demographic - all my fans are young men. Someone asked me the other… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I think people with anxiety do different things during different years, and for me, I waded through my anxiety during the last… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Let's say I was like, "I'm going to write a book this year," which I'm not. Let's just say that was it.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Not that that's my goal, but when you're very wealthy and very famous, you can have a lot more decisions in what… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
I have some pretty wonderful friendships, so that's been really good for me. In the past year, I've really worked on that.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
The urge that most people feel to have kids is the exact same as the urge that I have to not have kids. I… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
“remember asking my mom when I was little if I could go live at this place in Boston called “The Home for Little Wanderers.”… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Couples without kids have each other, their friends, families, and Siri to talk to. It's not like they're quarantining themselves in an underground bunker,… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Eventually I'm going to be too old to be on camera, and I've been doing stand-up a long time. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to have kids.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I have this idyllic love life, but my mind just won't accept that. I would like to bring a new guy home every night.… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Its almost Thanksgiving! A day when you get to hear your extended family use racial slurs for groups are not taking away their jobs. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
As a woman of a certain age - and really, ever since I hit puberty and my baby-making parts were suddenly subject to public… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I'm not like Woody Allen like, "Oh my god what's going to happen? Ooh Ooh Oohhh." I'm just high-strung. So I do need to… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
“I do not like being called “young” by someone who is only a couple of years older than I am, because what that really… — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
I'm wildly different than Maria Bamford or Sarah Silverman, and might be more similar to some male comics. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share
![“Even if it's L.A. and it's warmer, we're not supposed to be revving up right now. I don't like everyone's energy around [winter] time of year.” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/581/jen-kirkman-2547_energy_even-if-it-s-l-a-and-it-s-warmer-we-re-n_1797406.jpg)
![“In terms of what happened to Amy [Schumer], if that happened to me I would be like, "Yes, please leave." But I toured a lot. I started as an opening feature act touring a lot during the [George W.] Bush years, like around 2007. I was touring during the [Barack] Obama election - the first one with…” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23e/jen-kirkman-2547_amy_in-terms-of-what-happened-to-amy-schumer_2661204.jpg)
![“[The first] week [of the year] is great because my special is coming out but it's also my least favorite week because everyone else is on hyperdrive. They're like, "Let's do it! We're doing our goals!" Everyone is bothering me and there's so much hyper-intensity going on and I'm like, "It's…” quote by Jen Kirkman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aa9/jen-kirkman-2547_bother_the-first-week-of-the-year-is-great-beca_1052478.jpg)