Heating bills this winter are the highest they've been in five years, but President Bush has a plan to combat rising bills.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Joe Biden once again denied stories that he will be replaced on the ticket in 2012. He says he will continue to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American Taliban John Walker Lindh has pleaded guilty to two counts of terrorism and will face twenty years in prison. I guess… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The heaviest snowfall in over 60 years is being reported in Beijing, China. To give you an idea of how bad it… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you've met your… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They had so much rain in New York that a lot of the cabbies had their first shower in years. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Halloween's coming. Kids get very imaginative in my neighborhood. Last year, three kids showed up as Goldman Sachs executives and demanded 4.5… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton is getting a little bit of controversy because she has the most expensive hometown office rent - over $500,000 a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, there's a bright side to this for Ken Lay. You know, throughout the years Ken Lay has been a big campaign… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush is now focusing on jobs. I think the one job he's focusing most on is his own. The White House… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A review of studies by physicians found that excessive exercise is bad for your heart. Another study says a daily serving of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For years President Obama has been saying that no one would lose their healthcare plan. Now the White House has admitted that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Women get a little more excited about New Year's Eve than men do. It's like an excuse: you drink too much, you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Supporters of Osama bin Laden want to rename the Arabian Sea after bin Laden's death. They want to call it "Martyr's Sea."… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A second Homeland Security official has been arrested, a 49-year-old guy named Frank Figueroa, he was caught exposing and fondling himself to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A new study finds that women use their whole brain when listening and men only use half of their brain. You see,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Every year Steve Kaufman supports the charity “Love Ride” by donating a painting to this cause. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As they do every year, al-Qaida has threatened to disrupt and ruin Christmas. You know, we already have a group that disrupts… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are now more obese people in the United States than there are overweight people. I think it's safe to say that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Actually, Joe Biden looked pretty good. In fact, Joe's popularity has gone from 1% to 2% last week to 3% today. At… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Republicans are always criticizing President Obama for using the teleprompter. Is that a big deal? After eight years of George Bush, I'm… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Former U.S. House Majority Leader, Tom DeLay, has been sentenced to three years in prison. One year for money laundering and two… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
We ought to thank President Bush. He made it a lot easier for people to do taxes this year. No job, no… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Isn't this amazing? Clinton is getting $8M for his memoir, Hillary got $8M for her memoir. That is $16M for two people… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In South Korea, a scientist considered to be one of the pioneers in the field of cloning has been sentenced to two… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The new specialty at the Iowa fair this year is fried butter on a stick. Of course, if you're like me and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Sixty years ago this week Hitler invaded Poland. This led to the creation of The History Channel. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his speech last night, John Kerry said this was the beginning of the end of the Bush administration. I agree. Sure,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Did you know that 10% of all Americans have not had sex in 5 years? I didn't know there were so many Republicans. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
More bad news for the Taliban. Remember how they are promised 72 virgins when they die? Turns out that it's only one… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Neural scientists at M.I.T. say they can plant false memories in your brain. No, that is not new. Politicians have been doing… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush says he has just one question for the American voters, 'Is the rich person you're working for better off now… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush earned $400,000 for his job as president last year. That's not really that much for being president when you think… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Scientists are complaining that the new dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
