“No really. If you only have seven years left, that means the Reaper will be dropping round for tea and buns in about 61,000 hours from now. You therefore shouldn’t be wasting time by pootling to the garden centre at… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share Image
“I took ten days off and by 11 o’clock on the first morning I had drunk fourteen cups of coffee, read all the newspapers… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
I dish the dirt out, and I can take it. But why should my mother and children have to take it? In 20 years,… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
This is perfect for India because everyone who comes here gets the trots. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“Make no mistake, Concorde was an extraordinary technological achievement. Almost certainly, one of the greatest.” — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
Telling people at a dinner party you drive a Nissan Almera is like telling them you've got the Ebola virus and you're about to… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“Lego, however, is always opened and then left lying around so adults have something to tread on when they are prowling around around the… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
She can take a year to read something, whereas I like a book that becomes more important in my life that life itself. When… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
Because drug dealers shoot each other in London, Norfolk farmers can't have guns to defend their homes. I mean, no one wants a gun… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“Three chums would find themselves at a loose end for whatever reason and would agree to travel together to foreign lands for the purposes… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“and although the W came along in the tenth century, modern Germans still seem to manage perfectly well by using a V instead. Except… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
“It won’t be a volcano that ends man’s existence on this planet. It’ll be the no-win no-fee lawyers. They are the ones who brought… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
I wore a groove in the kitchen floor with endless trips to the fridge, hoping against hope that I had somehow missed a plateful… — Jeremy Clarkson Copy Share
