I write screenplays that don't get made and pilots that don't get picked up, and I re-write other people's movies, and those are all different kinds of fees. — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share Image
I've written about 15 screenplays and they all sold - they were all sold on pitches. — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
I like that we don't have to come out the first 10 minutes and score, you know, with joke, joke, joke. We can open… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
Generally with the Oscars or the Emmys there isn't much you can do until the nominations are announced. Then you know what kind of… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
Eddie Izzard is absolutely brilliant. I would love to write something for him. — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
I've learned that most of gay America is coupled up, or looking to be. No wonder gay marriage has such traction. So many of… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
To be gay and out of shape is almost as much of a stigma as just being gay used to be. — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
When AIDS hit, lots of people banded together to take care of each other and do what the government wasn't doing. When you grow… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
My assistant says I'm an eBay auction waiting to happen. I have a very large collection of T-shirts... about 4,000 now. Maybe I'll pillage… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
I mean, people who watch Jon Stewart's show every night don't think he went far enough, because he couldn't do what he does on… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
I have one rave 'New York Times' review framed next to a flop 'Los Angeles Times' review. And it's for the same show. These… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
I mean, when I started out I was billing per hour, like a shrink because you would sit with somebody and work. But most… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
Who knew we had all this O.C.D. in the world? Well actually, I suppose it's pretty obvious. It explains Sudoku, doesn't it? — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
As I'm always fond of telling hosts at the Oscars who are doing it for their first time, for everybody who wins, there are… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
I mean, if they're doing a television show every night like Jon Stewart, or Ellen, or David Letterman, then they have their bunch of… — Bruce Vilanch Copy Share
