When the world is made to be idiot-proof, the world will become overpopulated with idiots. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
To be vested with enormous authority is a fine thing; but to have the on-looking world consent to it is finer. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Two days overdue, THE WORLD'S WORK has not reached me. Pray make a note of this. I would rather not have to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A lie can make it half way around the world before the truth has time to put its boots on. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Apparently one of the most uncertain things in the world is the funeral of a religion. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There is nothing in the world like persuasive speech to fuddle the mental apparatus. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, political, or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The blunting effects of slavery upon the slaveholder's moral perceptions are known and conceded the world over; and a priveleged class, an… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It liberates the vandal to travel-you never saw a bigoted, opinionated, stubborn, narrow-minded, self-conceited, almighty mean man in your life but he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
We could use up two Eternities in learning all that is to be learned about our own world and the thousands of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Each season brings a world of enjoyment and interest in the watching of its unfolding, its gradual harmonious development, its culminating graces-and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt of gratitude we owe to Adam,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The North thinks it knows how to make corn bread, but this is a gross superstition. Perhaps no bread in the world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I have not professionally dealt in truth. Many when they come to die have spent all the truth that was in them,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A jackass has that kind of strength, and puts it to a useful purpose, and is valuable to the world because he… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
When even the brightest mind in our world has been trained up from childhood in a superstition of any kind, it will… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Where was the use, originally, in rushing this whole globe through in six days? It is likely that if more time had… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
It is my heart-warmed and world-embracing Christmas hope and aspiration that all of us, the high, the low, the rich, the poor,… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“There is one notable thing about our Christianity: bad, bloody, merciless, money-grabbing, and predatory. The invention of hell measured by our Christianity… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A banquet is probably the most fatiguing thing in the world except ditch digging. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Of the delights of this world, man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap bubble, if there were only one in the world. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
In the real world, nothing happens at the right place at the right time. It is the job of journalists and historians… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I am a democrat only on principle, not by instinct, nobody is that. Doubtless some people say they are, but this world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Epitaphs are cheap, and they do a poor chap a world of good after he is dead, especially if he had hard… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I know because I've done it thousands of times. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
'Don't you worry, and don't you hurry.' I know that phrase by heart, and if all other music should perish out of… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
His ignorance covers the world like a blanket, and there's scarcely a hole in it anywhere. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Writing is the easiest thing in the world… Just try it sometime. I sit up with a pipe in my mouth and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Don't look at the world with your hands in your pockets. To write about it you have to reach out and touch… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A little lie can travel half way 'round the world while Truth is still lacing up her boots. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
An occultation of Venus is not half so difficult as an eclipse of the sun, but because it comes seldom the world… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I purpose publishing these Letters here in the world before I return to you. Two editions. One, unedited, for Bible readers and… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. There is nothing more satisfying than that sense of being completely "at home"… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
