One of my little girls is named Reagan. Her first words were, 'Mr. Larry, tear down this crib.' That was her first words, it was very sweet. My first words were, 'Are you going to finish that sandwich?' — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
You learn a lot though when you have kids, I'll tell you what. Did you know when a baby poops its diapers, you're not… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
People always ask my mom what I did as a kid. My mom says, "He wasn't a bad kid. He was never an unruly… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
There's the old joke, "What's the difference between country and redneck? Well, that's three hundred dollars." — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I had a buddy of mine call up the other day, all upset 'cause he slept with his third cousin. And I'm like, Man,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I've been down in Florida since 1979. When you're born in Nebraska you really can't explain it. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I've been fortunate, I've been blessed, and I attribute my success to all my fans. People want to do things with you when you… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
As a comedian, I don't know if they're laughing because it's funny or if they're laughing at me because I'm not funny. And I'm… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I LOVE WAL-MART. I CONSIDER MY JOKES TO BE VERY JEUVINILLE. STUFF A 14 YEAR OLD WOULD LAUGH AT BECAUSE THATS THE SENCE OF… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I was born and raised in Pawnee City, Nebraska. I lived right next to the sale barn and I raised pigs. My dad was… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
What I do onstage, there's maybe .0001 percent of the population that acts like that. I talk like that because it makes me laugh,… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I don't take myself too seriously. I enjoy what I do. I enjoy making people laugh. — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
I don't have a lot of recreation time. I've always been under the assumption that if you're selling tickets you need to work. The… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
THE ONLY GOOD THING IS MY FANS LIKE ME AND COME TO SEE ME AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS. EVERYBODY ELSE CAN KISS MY… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share
