Women are using makeup to make their eyes look puffy, their noses look red, and instead of going to the gym, they start their day with a brisk walk of shame. — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
On Valentine's Day, couples in Calgary can celebrate their love for each other with couples' nude yoga - great way to get in shape… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
The Olympic Charter says winter sports must be played on snow or ice, so the Chess Federation says they'll play with ice pieces. The… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
Former Sony CEO Amy Pascal - they threw her out of the headquarters, but they gave her a new office on the lot. But… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
We know that the president [Donald Trump] watches "Saturday Night Live" because he tweets about it. He doesn't like it, but he keeps watching… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
Our politicians screw up all the time, as we see. But with so many things, we're no longer the world leader in that. — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
In the old days, we painstakingly copied our emails onto paper, put a stamp on them and mailed them to arrive 4 to 5… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
With two years till the nomination, both [Joe] Biden and [Hillary] Clinton are positioning themselves to be the Democratic nominee. And are they stressing… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
If the internet has taught us anything, it's that you want less news and more cats. — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
We're excited for when Sony greenlights the $50 million film a "Bunch Of Swirling Colors" starring George Clooney and a lava lamp. — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
If self-driving cars are going to work - they're being tested now, as you know - the computers that drive them have to have… — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
An Icelandic mayor goes on an anti-elf rant which gets him in trouble. — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
If you are using search data to decide what's fashionable, you are not fashionable. — Peter Sagal Copy Share Image
![“We know that the president [Donald Trump] watches "Saturday Night Live" because he tweets about it. He doesn't like it, but he keeps watching it.” quote by Peter Sagal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/841/peter-sagal-16436_donald-trump_we-know-that-the-president-donald-trump_105090.jpg)
![“With two years till the nomination, both [Joe] Biden and [Hillary] Clinton are positioning themselves to be the Democratic nominee. And are they stressing their experience, their ideas, their excellent hair? No. They've been talking about their poverty.” quote by Peter Sagal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/2d8/peter-sagal-16436_biden_with-two-years-till-the-nomination-both_507919.jpg)
