“When the black thing was at its worst, when the illicit cocktails and the ten-mile runs stopped working, I would feel numb as if dead to the world. I moved unconsciously, with heavy limbs, like a zombie from a horror… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“The word is dissociate. There is no 'a' before the 'ss'. People invariably say dis-a-ssociate, which, if you're suffering Disso-ciative Identity Disorder/Multiple Personality Disorder, can be irritating. People then want to know how many personalities I have and the answer is: I don't know. The first book about Multiple Personality Disorder to make an impact was Flora Rheta Schreiber's Sybil,… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share
“It’s hard to feel supported when you can’t tell people everything. People haven’t really got a clue what it’s like. It’s hard to trust anyone. It’s hard to believe people won’t let you down. I’m feeling like I want to cry. My body feels hollow. Empty. I don’t feel like I’m 17. I feel young. I’m not sure how old,… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share
“If I was set an essay on Friday, I’d spend three hours on Saturday morning in the library. Was that normal? I didn’t know. What I did know was that I felt less prone to depression and more normal walking through Venice or staring out over the lake in Zurich. At home I wrestled continually with my moods. The black… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share
“When the black thing was at its worst, when the illicit cocktails and the ten-mile runs stopped working, I would feel numb as if… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“Why do I take a blade and slash my arms? Why do I drink myself into a stupor? Why do I swallow bottles of pills and end up in A&E having my stomach pumped? Am I seeking attention? Showing off? The pain of the cuts releases the mental pain of the memories, but the pain of healing lasts weeks. After… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share
“PART 2 I felt doomed to death, But in a flash, Before I could reduce my thoughts To an emotion, I felt a mass leave my body: Departing. Then my mind becomes anonymous As is each night. Just unfinished thoughts, and a deep sickness inside, As I was forced to swallow it, Something I've tried to bury deep inside my… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share
“Weird? Absurd? That’s how it seemed to me. I had these forces, these compunctions, these alternative personalities inside me, driving me. It was like being a jack-in-the-box and I was unsure which personality was going to jump out next: Billy, who thought of himself as a cowboy or a terrorist; Kato the cutter; anorexic Shirley, whose only self-indulgence was binge… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share
“When sleep came, I would dream bad dreams. Not the baby and the big man with a cigarette-lighter dream. Another dream. The castle dream.… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“Of course, I should have known the kids would pop out in the atmosphere of Roberta's office. That's what they do when Alice is… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“Once I had found the courage to tell Rebecca about the children in my head, it wasn't so hard in the coming months to… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“During this hour in the waking streets I felt at ease, at peace; my body, which I despised, operated like a machine. I was… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
“When I was cooking I enjoyed a sense of being ‘out’ of myself. The action of dicing vegetables and warming oil made my hands… — Alice Jamieson Copy Share Image
