Every time Trump goes golfing, the headline should read, 'Trump Goes Golfing. Apocalypse Delayed.' — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Sean Spicer gives press briefings like someone is going through his browser history while he watches. — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
We shouldn't get lost in the bombastic tweets of Trump. He provides such great fodder every day. You don't want to lose… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Donald Trump does not touch alcohol, which is really respectable. But think about that. That means every statement, every interview, every tweet… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Donald Trump doesn't care about free speech. The man who tweets everything that enters his head doesn't care about the amendment which… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
A lot of times, especially when it comes to political debates, people get caught up in esoteric statistics. So the realest thing… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Trump is inadvertently forcing us to show him how great this country truly is - that we are better together than we… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
For 18 months, leading up to the November election, I did everything in my power to show how ridiculous and crazy Trump's… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is an extremist leader who came out of nowhere. He's self-financed, recruits through social media, attracts his followers with a… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
Donald Trump is not a 71-year-old white man. He is an Indian uncle. He wears suits that don't fit; he can't speak… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
When people were like, "Oh, wow, Donald Trump is so crazy. That's so nuts, what's happening?" in the 9 a.m. meeting, Jon… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
I've found the 90-10 rule to be pretty true: 90 percent of what I come up with and write down is kinda 'eh,' and… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
When you immerse yourself in a community, you tend to rise in that community. — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
Aditi is a comedy superstar over in India. She's only one of three female English-speaking comedians in India. — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
A lot of times, especially when it comes to political debates, people get caught up in esoteric statistics. So the realest thing I can… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
A lot of people in the media say that Donald Trump goes golfing too much, which raises a very important question: Why do you… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
As satirists, we get to stand on the sidelines of life and comment on what's happening. — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
My dad was the only son from his entire family to come to America, and I was his only son. We had come to… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
When you can tailor your act, you want it to be about yourself but also about the people in the room and the experience… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
I like to have straight-up black coffee, but when you get it, sometimes you'll burn your tongue, or it spills on your hands, and… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
I just started the way most comics start, doing open mic shows around Sacramento and San Francisco, and eventually, I moved to L.A. After… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
Jokes for jokes' sake are kind of meaningless to me. I understand the value of them, but it doesn't speak to me as much.… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
I'm not a Larry David. I don't have a 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' and a 'Seinfeld' in me. — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
Your courage to do what's right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share
