According to the Mayans, the world is supposed to end in the year 2012. Are you buying that? When's the last time… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If Jay spent as much time studying as he does trying to be a comedian, he'd be a big star. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
55% of all Americans lose their remote control 5 times a week. That means that they must see the same show for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Republican debate got pretty heated. They spent most of their time arguing over who God called first. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The liberals are asking us to give Obama time. We agree...and think 25 to life would be appropriate. --Jay Leno — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm glad the government has shut down. Think about it, for the first time in years it's safe to talk on the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
It's just a matter of time before we go into Iraq and get Saddam Hussein. I think just before Bush falls below… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Disneyland celebrated its 40th anniversary by burying a time capsule. They say it will be dug up in 50 years - or… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
U.N. officials said today they desperately need $7 billion to help people cope with disasters, but they're having a hard time getting… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In his annual economic report to Congress President Bush said that the transfer of American jobs overseas is actually part of a… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm a staunch Independant. Every time I think I am a Republican, they do something greedy, and every time I think I… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I like cars that are ahead of their times, and that were noble failures because they were built to a higher standard… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For the first time the people of Iraq are united. Today on CNN I saw a Kurd, a Shiite and a member… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, several times, McCain talked about serving his country in Vietnam, which is a nice change after 16 years and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Stock Market was down today. Two major businesses declared bankruptcy, consumer spending is at an all time low - in other… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Supreme Court has ruled that anybody can be strip-searched for any kind of arrest. That's something to think about the next… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For the first time ever, women are scoring higher than men on IQ tests. Scientists say it has something to do with… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are over 30 doctors running for the US Congress this year. That's going to be rather strange. Half the time these… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bill Clinton is the only ex-president who hasn't planned his own funeral. But, in his defense, in the past he has said… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
