Guys, if you keep a you-know-what in your wallet, it's only good for a month or two. So, out with the old, in with… — Alec Straub Copy Share
You know you're a redneck when your pickup breaks down and you fix it. On the front lawn. — Alec Straub Copy Share
Band director: Tromboners, remember to be in the right position. Trumpeters, finger fast and blow hard. — Alec Straub Copy Share
If the world was run by women, it would be mostly peaceful with heated arguments every 28 days. — Alec Straub Copy Share
Only you can prevent forest fires - by choosing not to have fun. Yeah, I'm a pyro. — Alec Straub Copy Share
If you get busted by a cop for growing weed in your house, just say 'I'm not selling that. It's for personal use.' — Alec Straub Copy Share
