If it doesn't know what to charge you for nosebleed seats, your team sucks. — Jay Mohr Copy Share Image
I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
You remember from watching the show, there are no "jokes." That's why if you see people on Twitter accusing me of being a "joke… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
I'm telling you, I could teach at a university, [George] Carlin, a whole semester. The construction and deconstruction of the words, the language, the… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
My wife and I have long discussions about [George] Carlin, and we refuse to accept that he died an atheist. It's just, confounding. When… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
I remember I used to go to The Laugh Factory and just goof off onstage, and then I'd see Dane Cook. He did a… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
I didn't want to fight a guy from England. What if I lose? Not that English guys aren't strong, but who wants to get… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
All that waiting around for a glimmer of stage time, just getting angry every week... It was just an oppressive, horrible, horrible place to… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
First of all, my wife writes half my act. I don't know how I could "steal" from my wife. — Jay Mohr Copy Share
If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
I'm a comic because I don't want to do the nine-to-five, I have to modify that and say I'm a comic because I have… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
Comedians are always going to be in the showbiz middle class, you're not Brad Pitt; you're never going to be Sam Rockwell or Shia… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them. — Jay Mohr Copy Share
If a waiter or waitress tells me when gratuity is included they automatically get more gratuity. When they hide it I go with the… — Jay Mohr Copy Share
