I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it. — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
There's no control in life, is there? There's only one who's in control, and He'll take me when He wants me. I don't want… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
I have a tendency toward the pleasures of the flesh. It's a battle for me, as far as weight and things like that. But… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer. — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
I went down to Chicago to try to go into a place called Second City. I auditioned for that and got in pretty quickly,… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
I have a nice apartment now that's all taken care of. I make my bed every day. — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
Although I love this kind of comedy, sometimes I feel trapped by always having to be the most outrageous guy in the room. In… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
I used to think that you could get to a level of success where the laws of the universe didn't apply. But they do.… — Chris Farley Copy Share Image
