“Sorry, but I'd rather sit home eating Vienna sausage straight from the can watching Andy Griffith reruns than be forced to dine with that Oompa-Loompa!” — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
“The only feel-good situation I could hypothetically equate it to would be lying in a kiddie pool full of cotton candy while spinning around… — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
“It felt like I had a thousand packs of Strawberry Pop Rocks simultaneously detonating in my chest, and I dilated at least eight centimeters!” — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
“I was hoping against hope he'd refill his Prozac so we could be in love again, but, sadly, that never happened.” — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
“Sorry, but I'd rather sit home eating Vienna sausage straight from the can watching Andy Griffith reruns than be forced to dine with that… — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
“He's probably somewhere right now eating a Big-N-Tasty. The man has a coffee pot, a microwave, AND a mini refrigerator in his classrooom. If… — Piper Faust Copy Share Image
