“This quick foray onto the toilet has been no different an endeavor than any other time I’ve used the restroom in my adult life. Try then to imagine my surprise when instead of the waste going down the u-bend like… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share Image
“donut can give you the kind of hug from inside that celery just can’t muster.” — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
I never ever, ever say anything against my husband to anyone except my husband. Everyone gets in fights, and I think the natural propensity… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
Despite my best efforts, I'm not quite perfect. Let's just say I'm like one of those Hopi blankets where they leave a tiny flaw… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
Fletch then kisses me on the forehead before opening the cabinet under the coffeemaker to grab placemats and napkins. Retrieving these items is his… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“If I were a lesbian and had a thing for narcissistic ex-sorority girls? I’d totally do me." Bitter is the New Black: Confessions of… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“I feel like my takeaway from tonight is that it's okay to love shitty television, provided that you make an effort to appreciate other… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“But there's always a chance she's hiding a flask and a Nixon-esque Enemies List in her pinafore apron, which is exactly why we're such… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“Cost to clean deeply soiled rugs: $200. Cost to replace shiny, black, stack-heeled, pilgrim-toed boots: $185. Cost to fix every single delicious table and… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“I love the French and Italian church paintings from the Middle Ages. But I'm also interested to learn more about who was the first… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“You know why I love HGTV? It's not just that I get a peek into other people's lives. It's that everyone's always thrilled with… — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there. — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
I never sleep on the plane. I have to be awake and using my mind power to keep it in the air — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
“Yeah, I'm over forty, flighty, and fluffy- I'd say I'm not ideal bouncer material.” — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations? — Jen Lancaster Copy Share
