The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
If I were God - and I never understand why I'm not - I should say, "Shop around, I don't think you'll… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
One should always be wary of anyone who promises that their love will last longer than a weekend. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
The curiosity of the neighbors about you, is a tribute to your individuality, and you should encourage it — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
You should make no effort to try to join society, stay right where you are. Give your name and serial number and… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
Euphemisms are not, as many young people think, useless verbiage for that which can and should be said bluntly; they are like… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
There are three reasons for becoming a writer: the first is that you need the money; the second that you have something… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
Life is a game in which the rules are constantly changing; nothing spoils a game more than those who take it seriously.… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
One of the special beauties of America is that it is the only country in the world where you are not advised… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
In most cases an act of unwelcome sex is no more bother than being vaccinated, so there's no point going on about… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share Image
“Masturbation is not only an expression of self-regard: it is also the natural emotional outlet of those who, before anything has reared its ugly… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
Nothing more rapidly inclines a person to go into a monastery than reading a book on etiquette. There are so many trivial ways in… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
Vice is its own reward. It is virtue which, if it is to be marketed with consumer appeal, must carry Green Shield stamps. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
Most men when they make up their faces, the makeup stands forward, and their faces are behind. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
Development of character consists solely in moving toward self-sufficiency. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
Women have decided to be people, which is a great mistake. Women were nicer than people. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
I was amazed to receive later a substantial sum for sitting in my room and talking about myself. If only I could get some… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
If you live in America, you don't have to work. You can just drift along in the smiling and nodding racket. — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
“I was from birth an object of mild ridicule because of my movements - especially the perpetual flutter of my hands - and my… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
If a man were to look over the fence on one side of his garden and observe that the neighbor on his left had… — Quentin Crisp Copy Share
