“The people around here can be bought and sold with a pissed-on twenty-dollar bill and a scratch off lottery ticket, so you go right ahead and try your luck.” — Tiana Laveen Copy Share Image
I bought a scratch off lottery ticket, but then I accidentally spilled calamine lotion on it, so it did not need to be scratched. Shoot! I will not know if I have won! — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
