I do this thing at every party: I go to a party, I stand around for, like, 45 minutes, and then I turn to my wife and say, 'I think we should go home.' And then we leave, and then… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share Image
You don't want to have to come into work on Monday already apologizing. I try to save my apologies for what I've done later… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
It's OK to argue with your friends. Guys can do it better than girls, usually, but if you ever get into a fight with… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
I went in and auditioned for one of the main guys for 'The League' when it was first casting, and I was so excited… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
If I was a condiment, I'm gonna go ahead and say I would be Sriracha, because I go well with other things. I'm too… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
I do two cups of coffee with a little bit of raw sugar and soy creamer, and then I do a bowl of plain… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
I love 'Love Actually.' 'Love Actually,' there's, like, nine stories in that movie. Three of them are good. But watching that movie, I get… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
I'm a big crier in general. The right life insurance commercial will take me out for a couple of days. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
My celeb crush is Julia Louis-Dreyfus. She's hysterical, she's beautiful, and she seems like a normal person. I'm in love with her. — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
I'm more scared of parking by a parking meter than vampires because one of them is real and adversely affects my life and results… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
There's nothing like taking two flights when you have a horrible hangover. It's bad when people can see actual alcohol seeping out of your… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
Whatever you want to do in the industry, do it on the smallest level at first. If you want to be a writer, write… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
I want to have a food truck that would just be bathrooms. I would line it up in back of the other food trucks,… — Ike Barinholtz Copy Share
