Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At his campaign launch, Donald Trump apparently paid extras $50 to cheer for him at the rally. Trump said, 'Usually when I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Gary Busey said on the Today Show yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Michele Bachmann said she wants her three daughters to learn to shoot a gun. Mostly so they can put her campaign out… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today, Snoop Dog endorsed Ron Paul for president. Snoop said he likes Paul's positions on everything from legalizing pot ... to legalizing pot. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In an interview, Kim Cattrall said there could be another 'Sex in the City' movie. An hour later, ISIS surrendered - there's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell me who the other nominees are -… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
According to some reports coming out of Washington today, President Obama said Kanye West is a 'jackass.' Not since 'yes, we can'… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are mad a Donald Trump for allegedly making a joke about Megyn Kelly having her period. Trump said, 'Trust me, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger is gonna be the new governor of California. During his acceptance speech Arnold said 'I will not let you down.'… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
During last night's Republican debate, Mike Huckabee got a big laugh when he said that Congress has been spending money like John… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In a prime-time address, President Bush said he backed limited federal funding for stem cell research. That's right, the President said, this… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
During her Oscar acceptance speech, Patricia Arquette called for equal pay for women. Then Oprah stood up and said, 'She's right, I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In the news, Chinese president Hu Jintao says that now that Barack Obama has been elected, he is looking forward to taking… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
President Obama , I guess, is starting to confess to some of his anxieties. In a recent interview, President Obama said, 'I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The three auto companies in the United States, they're all scrambling to come up with a plan, some way to reinvent themselves.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new report reveals that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spent over $82,000 on food at NFL games. Christie said, 'Hey, both… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is cheating on his girlfriend Miley Cyrus. After hearing about it Arnold said, 'That's my boy.' — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Barry Bonds in the news. Yesterday Barry Bonds' agent said that Bonds could hit as many as 1,000 home runs. And the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
CNN’s Rick Sanchez said the Jews run CNN. Ah, so that’s who we blame for Rick Sanchez. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today in Sri Lanka, Pope Francis visited a Buddhist temple. When asked why, the Pope said, 'Just keeping my options open. It's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Herman Cain said he wants people to know that there's more between his ears than pepperoni and pizza sauce. He says there's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The hackers who hacked into Sony have leaked the upcoming script for the new James Bond movie. Some of the executives said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
House Speaker John Boehner said the Republican Party will no longer stand in the way of gay marriage. Then Boehner said, 'Now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Trump said that he hoped bin Laden suffered a lot. It looks like he got his wish, because the CIA said bin… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A woman on a Southwest Airlines flight gave birth to a baby. As soon as he was born, the baby said, 'I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Scientists say they're getting closer to developing a pill to replace exercising. Americans heard this and said that it better come in… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Nietzsche famously said, 'Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' What he failed to stress is that it ALMOST kills you. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At the state dinner for Chinese President Hu Jintao, Hu opened a fortune cookie that said, 'You will lend us another trillion… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Tom Cruise's attorney said he is going to sue anyone who claims he is gay. In a related story, Ricky Martin's attorney… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The turkey that President Obama will pardon this Thanksgiving is from California. The turkey said, "I don't need a pardon. I need… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In an interview, Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream. When he heard this, Chris Christie said 'Hey,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Obama was heckled by someone who said, 'Don't forget about medical marijuana.' The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to everyone… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Northeast is being hit with a major snowstorm. Forecasters said they've haven't seen a whiteout like this since last week's Oscar… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
