After hearing that he has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, Putin said, 'Tell me who the other nominees are -… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In an interview, Kim Cattrall said there could be another 'Sex in the City' movie. An hour later, ISIS surrendered - there's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A new report reveals that New Jersey Governor Chris Christie spent over $82,000 on food at NFL games. Christie said, 'Hey, both… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
CNN’s Rick Sanchez said the Jews run CNN. Ah, so that’s who we blame for Rick Sanchez. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Barry Bonds in the news. Yesterday Barry Bonds' agent said that Bonds could hit as many as 1,000 home runs. And the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
It's rumored that Arnold Schwarzenegger's son is cheating on his girlfriend Miley Cyrus. After hearing about it Arnold said, 'That's my boy.' — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney is saying his comments about liking to fire people were taken out of context. Yeah, what he actually said was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In his press conference last night, President Bush said he could not remember a single mistake he had made in the last… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A public relations firm said that rock star David Lee Roth owes them over $110,000. The strange thing is that it's the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In a speech today, President Obama said that Michelle Obama is very strong and talented and she frequently tells him that he… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Earlier today Martha Stewart issued a statement saying 'I am innocent and will fight to clear my name.' Yeah, Martha then said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush is getting his presidential campaign in gear. Last week he said he supports a path to citizenship for immigrants. He… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
People are already talking about the next presidential election. There's stories all over about who might run. At a recent speech, a… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
There's a rumor that NBC is going to have Tom Brokaw fill in temporarily as the NBC News anchor. When asked why,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Saudi Arabia's first female athlete will be allowed to compete while wearing a head scarf. The Saudi woman said she was thrilled… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The three auto companies in the United States, they're all scrambling to come up with a plan, some way to reinvent themselves.… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Herman Cain said he wants people to know that there's more between his ears than pepperoni and pizza sauce. He says there's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Jeb Bush admitted that he smoked a notable amount of pot in school. He said, 'You would too if your parents had… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
House Speaker John Boehner said the Republican Party will no longer stand in the way of gay marriage. Then Boehner said, 'Now… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The hackers who hacked into Sony have leaked the upcoming script for the new James Bond movie. Some of the executives said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
CBS news anchor Dan Rather has interviewed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. When asked what it was like to talk to a crazy… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today in Sri Lanka, Pope Francis visited a Buddhist temple. When asked why, the Pope said, 'Just keeping my options open. It's… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
At his campaign launch, Donald Trump apparently paid extras $50 to cheer for him at the rally. Trump said, 'Usually when I… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today Donald Trump reaffirmed his stance against gay marriage. Trump said marriage is between a rich guy and his much younger third… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Michele Bachmann said she wants her three daughters to learn to shoot a gun. Mostly so they can put her campaign out… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Today, Snoop Dog endorsed Ron Paul for president. Snoop said he likes Paul's positions on everything from legalizing pot ... to legalizing pot. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Gary Busey said on the Today Show yesterday that Donald Trump would make a great President. Now Trump just needs endorsements from… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Obama was heckled by someone who said, 'Don't forget about medical marijuana.' The Secret Service has narrowed the suspects down to everyone… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
The Northeast is being hit with a major snowstorm. Forecasters said they've haven't seen a whiteout like this since last week's Oscar… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
In an interview, Hillary Clinton said she likes nearly every flavor of ice cream. When he heard this, Chris Christie said 'Hey,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
NBC has suspended Brian Williams for six months without pay. Williams said he's not worried because soon his veterans benefits will kick… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Howard Dean came in a disappointing third place. Afterwards Dean said 'Iowa is behind me and now I look forward to screaming… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Pope Francis said that atheists are still eligible to go to heaven. To return the favor, atheists said Popes are still eligible… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Earlier today, President Bush said Kerry will be a tough and hard-charging opponent. That explains why Bush's nickname for Kerry is math. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Rick Perry dropped out of the presidential race. When asked what went wrong, Perry said, I guess America is not ready to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said prior to the debate that he wants to be very civil. He said that instead of referring to all… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Nietzsche famously said, 'Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' What he failed to stress is that it ALMOST kills you. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Newly released transcripts reveal that President Nixon was drunk during the Arab-Israeli crisis of 1973. After hearing this, President Bush said, 'Hey,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
A federal court has ruled that the U.S. Postal Service must reduce its stamp prices. The change in stamp prices is expected to affect… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
NBC is making a movie about Martha Stewart that will cover the recent stock scandal. They are thinking of calling it 'The Road To… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
People should say 'no comment' more often. No comment! I love no comment. Let's have more no comment. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new study reveals that one-third of babies in the U.S. have used a smartphone. Yeah, and one-third of babies in China have MADE… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Martha Stewart showed up at Manhattan FBI Headquarters to have her finger prints taken and pose for a mug shot. Then Martha explained how… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The big story today, Barack Obama was accused of insulting Sarah Palin when he criticized Republican policies by saying, you can put lipstick on… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
LEGO has announced that they are shutting down their U.S. factory and moving it to Canada. LEGO employees say it's their fault because they… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
A new survey reveals that women would rather give up sex than give up the remote control for the TV. Men, on the other… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
Yesterday the DEA raided several NFL teams suspected of giving prescription painkillers to their players. In its defense, the New York Jets' doctor said,… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama gave a speech about healthcare tonight, and yesterday he gave a pep talk to students. He told them that in order to… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
The first thing men notice about a woman is her eyes. Then, when her eyes aren't looking, they notice her breasts. — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
“Disappointment leads to clarity, which leads to conviction and true originality.” — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing. Then Travolta said… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama filled in as the coach of his daughter Sasha's basketball team. Sasha evidently listened to her Dad, because all she did was… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
President Obama and Vladimir Putin are both in China attending the same economic summit. Obama saw Putin and said, 'After those midterms, it's nice… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share
