“It has just been on the news that a man has been found in the Queen’s bedroom. Radio Four said that the man was an intruder and was previously unknown to the Queen. My father said: ‘That’s her story.” — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be Jo in 'Little Women.' She's a bit reckless and feckless, always getting into trouble like me. But I'm probably… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
“Sex with the gorilla went on a bit, but once he'd stumbled over my clitoris we both had good times.” — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
Yes, I hate it when people call me a 'national treasure'. It takes away your bite and makes you feel like a harmless old… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
“Personally, nothing would surprise me any more. If my father announced that he was really a Russian agent or my mother ran away with… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
“Pauline: "All under-fives are mad Adrian, you used to talk to the moon. You invited it to your birthday party and cried when it… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
“Had a note from Mr Cherry asking me when I can resume my paper round. I sent a note back to say that due… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
'The Gambler' by Dostoevsky. It was the first time I realised that it was possible to have good and evil in one person. It… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
People down on their luck deserve the best: beautiful surroundings and well-paid professional staff to help them out of their difficulties. Why not train… — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
Most social problems could be helped or prevented if people had more money and practical advice. — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
I take life very seriously. I can laugh at it, because what else can you do? But it's a hard daily battle. — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
Yes - I am usually overweight. I have had to be interested in diet because of being diabetic for 30 years and having kidney failure. — Sue Townsend Copy Share Image
