Definitely I love women, I love being around women, I find them incredible and intoxicating, and I've never had that feeling I get with… — David Walliams Copy Share
I have a pathological fear of being on my own. When I'm with my own thoughts, I start to unravel myself, and I start… — David Walliams Copy Share
I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising… — David Walliams Copy Share
“Alberta thought for a moment, and took a live mouse out of her pocket by its tail before dropping it into Wagner’s mouth. The… — David Walliams Copy Share
Writing for radio really focuses the mind, because you can't rely on thinking "Oh, just pull a funny face at the end of this… — David Walliams Copy Share
There's something about being a comedian that means you have to not be scared of failing because failing is part of the process. — David Walliams Copy Share
“nashin awa wi their een watterin. But naebody wis aw that freendly tae him. Naebody stapped for a blether.” — David Walliams Copy Share
People think writing a children's book is something you could do in an afternoon but it's actually really hard. — David Walliams Copy Share
I think most people that do comedy write for themselves. I don't think there is any other way you can do it, really. Otherwise… — David Walliams Copy Share
No more watching that show Small England or whatever it's called where those two idiots dress up as 'laydees'. It's a bad influence. — David Walliams Copy Share
“One boy dropped his trousers and did an almighty—!” “I don’t need to know, thank you!” replied Stella, cutting the boy off.” — David Walliams Copy Share
“They may have only had one pence to spend, but their hearts beamed with gold.” — David Walliams Copy Share
