Rick Perry has now accused Mitt Romney of hiring illegal aliens to work on his hair. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I've got a head of hair better than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Between Ron Paul and Rick Perry, I think the lesson is don't get sick in Texas. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
I have a better head of hair than Rick Perry; it's just not in a place I can show you. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
The case could be made that Rick Perry is the worst debater to ever run for president. — James Carville Copy Share Image
Remember, I'm not running against Rick Perry; I'm running against apathy. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
Rick Perry has made so many gaffes lately, it is hard to tell if he's running against President Obama or Joe Biden. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“My eyes went as crazy as Michelle Bachman and Rick Perry's love-child.” — Mark Schweizer Copy Share Image
I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Rick Perry is the perfect candidate for those who thought George W. Bush was just too dang cerebral. And Adios, Mofo is… — Paul Begala Copy Share Image
Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is… — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
USA Today reports that the number of death row executions this year has hit a 35-year low. They attribute that to DNA… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney said that he liked to fire people. Well, there's a pretty good message to send to Middle America. When Rick… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Rick Perry, started out like a ball of fire from Texas and then he started to drop and now he's retooling. He's… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
It's not enough to be right because he [Rick Perry] is right, you got to be persuasively right, got to be intellectually… — Greg Gutfeld Copy Share Image
It's important for Republicans to nominate someone who not only has a vision of how to create jobs, but who has done… — Sam Graves Copy Share Image
Down in Texas, Rick Perry announced he will not run for reelection. He said 'I executed one last woman, that fertilizer plant… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Bronco Rick Perry is the first candidate I've ever heard say he's not doing well because he's sleepy. You know, we criticized… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I take risks, if you want to call it a risk. All the people running for president, last time, you know, they… — Joe Arpaio Copy Share Image
Rick Perry I have a great fondness for. And what Rick Perry has, like Jeb Bush has, it will be interesting to… — Rudy Giuliani Copy Share Image
Natural Texas politicians make terrible, terrible presidential candidates. Phil Gramm, I remember the 'Phil Gramm for President' campaign. I thought that was… — Gail Collins Copy Share Image
I was just really appalled, and I really kept quiet until I saw the governor [Rick Perry] get on and repeat the… — Elizabeth Gilbert Copy Share Image
Rick Perry said Obama's suggestions for gun control disgust him. He said the real answer to this problem isn't laws, it's prayer.… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rick Perry's an idiot, and I don't think anyone would disagree with that, — Bruce Bartlett Copy Share Image
Look, I know these Rick Perry jokes are a little mean, but tomorrow, he won't even remember them. — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
Last week, I suggested the candidates take up mushrooms. I'll be damned if Rick Perry didn't take me up on that. — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
I've never heard anybody in my family say anything but good things about Rick Perry. — Jeb Bush Copy Share Image
If Jesus Christ had run as an independent, Rick Perry would have beat him. — Kinky Friedman Copy Share Image
When Rick Perry says I can do for America what I've done for Texas, pay attention. That's no idle threat. — Jim Hightower Copy Share Image
Personally, I hope he doesn't get out of the campaign. I need Rick Perry. I don't want to spend the next year… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Westerners know the difference between a talker and the real deal. If Rick Perry wasn't right to be governor of Texas, why… — Dick Cheney Copy Share Image
Rick Perry said America's revolutionary war was fought in the 16th century. When told it was actually the 18th century, Perry apologized… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Rick Perry unveiled his new tax plan. He says he wants a flat tax. He believes that tax should be flat, just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People are saying that Rick Perry is really tough because he has executed over 200 people. And that was just while he… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
What's the difference between Lindsay Lohan and Rick Perry? It only takes Lindsay four and a half hours to finish a sentence. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas governor Rick Perry said God is calling on him to run for President. But Michele Bachmann said that god is calling… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
![“It's not enough to be right because he [Rick Perry] is right, you got to be persuasively right, got to be intellectually agile, and I think he can do it.” quote by Greg Gutfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/557/greg-gutfeld-1129_can-do_it-s-not-enough-to-be-right-because-he-r_3026666.png)
![“I take risks, if you want to call it a risk. All the people running for president, last time, you know, they all came to visit me or meet me. They all wanted my endorsement and I endorsed [Rick] Perry at that time. He wasn't that well-liked either, but you have to do what you have to do.” quote by Joe Arpaio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90d/joe-arpaio-9065_endorsements_i-take-risks-if-you-want-to-call-it-a-ri_788125.png)
![“I was just really appalled, and I really kept quiet until I saw the governor [Rick Perry] get on and repeat the same words that the prosecution had used in the penalty phase: that he [Todd Willingham] was a monster. And that got me to get on to the computer and connect with some of the media and…” quote by Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/45a/elizabeth-gilbert-131_appalled_i-was-just-really-appalled-and-i-really_3201356.jpg)
