I can teach anybody how to get, what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
If you want me to give you a two-hour presentation, I am ready today. If you want only a five-minute speech, it… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction, is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They all laid their heads together like as many lawyers when they are gettin' ready to prove that a man's heirs ain't… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
The law of God, as quite plainly expressed in woman's construction is this: There shall be no limit put upon your intercourse… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
That optimist of yours is always ready to turn hell's backyard into a play-ground. — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
They do say that when a man starts down hill everybody is ready to help him with a kick, and I suppose… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
Sing like no one's listening, love like you've never been hurt, dance like nobody's watching, and live like its heaven on earth. — Mark Twain Copy Share
If you had made the acquiring of ignorance the study of your life, you could not have graduated with higher honor than you could… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“The Creator sat upon the throne, thinking. Behind him stretched the illimitable continent of heaven, steeped in a glory of light and color; before… — Mark Twain Copy Share
A man accustomed to American food and American domestic cookery would not starve to death suddenly in Europe, but I think he would gradually… — Mark Twain Copy Share
I never write Metropolis for seven cents because I can get the same price for city. I never write policeman because I can get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
The higher animals get their teeth without pain or inconvenience. Man gets his through months and months of cruel torture; he will never get… — Mark Twain Copy Share
“As far as I can see, Italy, for fifteen hundred years, has turned all her energies, all her finances, and all her industry to… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Many public-school children seem to know only two dates—1492 and 4th of July; and as a rule they don't know what happened on either… — Mark Twain Copy Share
If we could imagine such a man, that is a man who could invent the fly and send him out on his mission and… — Mark Twain Copy Share
You perceive, now, that these things are all impossible except in a dream. You perceive that they are pure and puerile insanities, the silly… — Mark Twain Copy Share
Lord save us all from a hope tree that has lost the faculty of putting out blossoms. — Mark Twain Copy Share
