Herman Cain has suspended his presidential campaign, but he has asked the Secret Service if they could continue to provide him protection,… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
The 2016 presidential campaign is heating up. Can you feel the indifference, the apathy? — David Letterman Copy Share Image
The first presidential debate was down in Florida. Residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Presidential hopeful Jeb Bush has released all of his emails. I'd like to release all of my emails. I've got nothing but… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential candidate, is going to fight Evander Holyfield for charity. I hope they save some of that money… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
President Obama, by the way, is, I think, making his first presidential European trip. And while he's there in Europe, he plans… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Republicans are having trouble luring Gov. Chris Christie into the presidential race. They should try pie. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Presidential candidate Howard Dean is now being attacked for dodging the draft. I never knew this about the guy - but now… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Do you know who is ready to go with the presidential campaign? Jeb Bush. Jeb already has plans to end the war… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney, two-time Republican presidential hopeful, boxed former heavyweight champion of the world Evander Holyfield for charity. It was a horrible moment… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
New Republican Presidential candidate Jon Huntsman is fluent in Chinese. In a short period of time the Republicans have come quite a… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I heard this today and I thought this was fascinating and interesting. President Bush has two daughters, two beautiful daughters, and they… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
Two things you need to know about taxes. They've extended the deadline to April 18, and when you write your check, just make it… — David Letterman Copy Share
You know Kim Jong Un, the evil dictator of North Korea? Apparently, a guy in his inner circle used his ashtray while smoking and… — David Letterman Copy Share
It's the first day of spring. That means this weekend I'll take down my Christmas lights. — David Letterman Copy Share
There are a lot of New York City Thanksgiving traditions. For example, a lot of New Yorkers don't buy the frozen Thanksgiving turkey. They… — David Letterman Copy Share
Experts say this global warming is serious, and they are predicting now that by the year 2050, we will be out of party ice. — David Letterman Copy Share
We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going to be tough because it's been 25 years since… — David Letterman Copy Share
I'm worried about John Kerry, he's so confident now that he's already planning his White House sex scandal. — David Letterman Copy Share
I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to… — David Letterman Copy Share
Do I think there is a heaven? Uh, yeah I do. Like a really big gymnasium. How do I see myself there? With really… — David Letterman Copy Share
Well, we're just a couple of weeks from new President Barack Obama being sworn in. And he's been very busy naming a lot of… — David Letterman Copy Share
Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving. — David Letterman Copy Share
Prince William and Kate Middleton are in New York City. We have got to do something about immigration. — David Letterman Copy Share
