I would like eternal life. I would like to have the power to choose who lives and dies. — Joel McHale Copy Share Image
I don't think the NFL had the slightest intention of taking me, except as maybe a water boy. — Joel McHale Copy Share
I love the challenge of an entire year has gone by and how has that affected the character you're playing. — Joel McHale Copy Share
Well, that would be a title [the busiest guy in Hollywood] still reserved for Ryan Seacrest. I have one assistant; he has about nine.… — Joel McHale Copy Share
My goal and my career is definitely not to be famous. That's a really horrible goal, just to be famous for the sake of… — Joel McHale Copy Share
I'm very happy and being raised Catholic I assume it will end tomorrow. The rug will be pulled out from under me and someone… — Joel McHale Copy Share
I don't feel any pressure to joke about #MeToo - in fact, I'd say you shouldn't, because it's a great movement that is exposing… — Joel McHale Copy Share
People might say it came easy for me. The fact is, I've worked hard on every role. I prepare for each audition...take the script,… — Joel McHale Copy Share
'Almost Live' allowed me to take chances and try things you can't do on national television. It allowed me to screw up. — Joel McHale Copy Share
I was serious about Ultimate Fighting Championship. And I'm not even ashamed to say it because I want free tickets. — Joel McHale Copy Share
I don't really know. I think the first test is when you're very little and you fart, and you laugh at it and so… — Joel McHale Copy Share
It's an awesome thing to be flung out onto the stage twice a weekend in front of 250 people, and you have to make… — Joel McHale Copy Share
I think the smart people will get even smarter, and the dumb people will get even dumber. But I think they all will enjoy… — Joel McHale Copy Share
Our mantra is that 90 percent of all television is bad, and ten percent has never been better. We make fun of that 90 percent. — Joel McHale Copy Share
I loved New Jersey. I thought it was the greatest place in the world because on Halloween kids could start trick or treating right… — Joel McHale Copy Share
