Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer. Laugh at yourself. Don't believe what you are told. Fall in love. — Greg Proops Copy Share Image
Talking to the British about sex is like talking to Americans about reading. Nobody does it so why talk about it? — Greg Proops Copy Share
I did stand up first in high school, joined an improv group in college, kept doing stand up after that, no one could deter… — Greg Proops Copy Share
“How come we got the grumpy boat of bandy-legged Puritans? How come we didn't get the Italian party boat with the cappuccino makers and… — Greg Proops Copy Share
In our world, all puns are beautiful and they are the highest form of comedy. — Greg Proops Copy Share
If you want to live in 'white world,' if you want to experience the stultifying boredom and penetrating ennui that homogeneity can bring, you… — Greg Proops Copy Share
I see guys dressing like they're in college - and they're not. I don't want to be that guy. — Greg Proops Copy Share
Glasses are for the brave. I do not need to pretend that I am sighted. People who need glasses and don't wear them are… — Greg Proops Copy Share
Contact lenses are for vain, weak-willed piglets who swan around showing off: 'Look everybody, I can see without spectacles. No one at first glance… — Greg Proops Copy Share
People will really believe anything. You may have noticed this. It’s not just me. Look around. — Greg Proops Copy Share
I don't come on to seduce the audience. I don't care if everyone laughs. I can't think about that anymore. If there's anything that… — Greg Proops Copy Share
I love animals. I couldn't eat a whole one but I'll split one with you if you want. — Greg Proops Copy Share
I wear glasses. That's how you'll know me. I am the speccy one… And I am proud. — Greg Proops Copy Share
Don't yell at people. Stand up for what's right. Put yourself in the other persons place. Respect women. Don't take no for an answer.… — Greg Proops Copy Share
