“What can I say? Big pharma isn’t lying to you (fine, they probably are): performance-enhancing drugs deliver, babes. In the short term, at least. I felt so ambitious! I was bright-eyed and chatty at roundtable discussions” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“it. No more. I kept scribbling down “rules” as they came to me: NO HARD DRUGS. Ooh, wasn’t it fun counting these pills and… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“It was great not having a roommate. I didn’t have to turn the lights off and go to bed, like, ever. I took my… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I WAS LIKE . . . LIKE A GROUPIE FOR ALL OF THESE DOWNTOWN GUYS . . . I WAS—I AM—BULIMIC AND OBSESSED WITH MY LOOKS . . . I THOUGHT THAT MY… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I peed and washed my hands—these are the details you need to know—and” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“And so I shut down. Winter raged on, but I stopped thinking about my pregnancy. I pretended it all wasn’t happening.” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I will repeat the only advice which has ever really resonated with me re: pain—emotional as well as physical—which is: It’s not always going… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“NOW THAT I WAS OUT of that bizarre . . . sobriety fog, I could see everything much more clearly!” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“My parents were quiet in the car to the airport, but I couldn’t escape the voices in my head. You failure. You disaster. You… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“We would’ve been kicked out if we got caught—and you know me. I just live for getting kicked out of things.” — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“I would have swallowed arsenic if someone had promised that it would put me under for at least a few hours—that’s how bad prolonged… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“Then I’d go pee into a cup—or at least try to. Stupid drug tests! I’ve been taking them for nearly a decade now and… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“Worst of all, I couldn’t find my Xanax or my Ambien. I shook out the sheets; I dug through the piles. Finally, I left… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
“So I was always practically falling out of my desk chair. (Stimulants make the nerves a bit . . . jangly, you know. Especially at three in… — Cat Marnell Copy Share Image
