People Quotes by Stephen Colbert

They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

— Stephen Colbert

Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.

— Stephen Colbert

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

— Stephen Colbert

If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations.

— Stephen Colbert

When I read books it's to escape. It's so I don't have to talk to people.

— Stephen Colbert

Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.

— Stephen Colbert

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

— Stephen Colbert

Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.

— Stephen Colbert

Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by…

— Stephen Colbert

I'm fascinated that people drawn to cults want to know what to do. And people want to know what to think. And…

— Stephen Colbert

Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?" - Stephen…

— Stephen Colbert

The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get…

— Stephen Colbert

I cannot stand people who disagree with me on the issue of Roe v. Wade... which I believe is about the proper…

— Stephen Colbert

If women are breadwinners and men bring home the bacon, why do people complain about having no dough? I'm confused. Also hungry.

— Stephen Colbert

If you're injecting fear into other people, then you're trying to kill their minds. You're trying to get them to stop thinking.

— Stephen Colbert

First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society…

— Stephen Colbert

This is a crucial time in the fight for corporate civil rights. Just look at the hateful signs at Occupy Wallstreet: 'Corporations…

— Stephen Colbert

Hatemongers like Media Matters take innocent statements like mine, Rush Limbaugh's, John Gibson's, and Bill O'Reilly's and make them offensive by posting…

— Stephen Colbert

I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are…

— Stephen Colbert

People would say, "Oh, you say you just do jokes." I don't just do jokes. I do jokes. Jokes are important. They…

— Stephen Colbert

I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of…

— Stephen Colbert

We all deserve credit for this new surveillance state that we live in because we the people voted for the Patriot Act.…

— Stephen Colbert

I'd forgotten what an honest sandwich it is. For those of you not familiar, 'BLT' stands for 'bacon, lettuce, and tomato.' A…

— Stephen Colbert

I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't…

— Stephen Colbert

The interesting thing about fake news and fake media is that it's a heresy against reality. Again, as a Catholic, I was…

— Stephen Colbert

Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are…

— Stephen Colbert

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the…

— Stephen Colbert

Facebook stock continues to plummet. People started selling once they found out their mom bought it too.

— Stephen Colbert

We are the shadow cast by real people. And that shadow changes shape as the news cycle changes shape, so you always…

— Stephen Colbert

Now, for my younger viewers out there, a book is something we used to have before the internet. It’s sort of a…

— Stephen Colbert

Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the…

— Stephen Colbert

Class is a way of looking at society that divides people into different categories based on how much money they're willing to…

— Stephen Colbert

I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a…

— Stephen Colbert

Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the ways of the world are…

— Stephen Colbert

If Corporations are people, I guarantee you that a government of those people, by those people, and for those people will continue…

— Stephen Colbert

You know what I hate about people who criticize you? They - they criticize what you say but they never give you…

— Stephen Colbert

Obamacare needs the premiums of healthier people to cover the costs of sicker people. It's a devious con that can only be…

— Stephen Colbert

I am down with the latest trends. And everyone knows, the thing on the streets is vampires. So I have been biting…

— Stephen Colbert

Every night on my show, The Colbert Report, I speak straight from the gut, okay? I give people the truth, unfiltered by…

— Stephen Colbert

Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in…

— Stephen Colbert