People Quotes by Garrison Keillor

That's why God created marriage, so people wouldn't have to fight with strangers.

— Garrison Keillor

A cruise ship is a floating town of lazy people.

— Garrison Keillor

When you come to expect humor of people, you will never get it.

— Garrison Keillor

Humor needs to come in under cover of darkness, in disguise, and surprise people.

— Garrison Keillor

March is the month God created to show people who don't drink what a hangover is like.

— Garrison Keillor

I usually don't work with other people; I do the whole show myself.

— Garrison Keillor

Not everyone has a Life's Work. Some people simply have a Life.

— Garrison Keillor

People in cars cause accidents and accidents in cars cause people.

— Garrison Keillor

Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic.

— Garrison Keillor

Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God…

— Garrison Keillor

People do what they are told not to do. It happens time and time again. Here on the frozen tundra, it is…

— Garrison Keillor

We come from people who brought us up to believe that life is a struggle, and if you should feel really happy,…

— Garrison Keillor

When writing loses touch with the beautiful surface of the world, it loses its way. You always want to be in touch…

— Garrison Keillor

There's so many people who move around our country and lose track of their own ancestry. It's nice to know where you…

— Garrison Keillor

..people (in Minnesota) avoid stupidity when possible, not wanting to be a $10 haircut on a 50 cent head.

— Garrison Keillor

People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.

— Garrison Keillor

I was an English major at the University of Minnesota, and I was very shy, which many people misinterpreted as intelligence. On…

— Garrison Keillor

Minnesota is a state of public-spirited and polite people, where you can get a good cappucino and eat Thai food and find…

— Garrison Keillor

I feel it's so hard for young actors; It's a different world that they're coming up in; there's so much money to…

— Garrison Keillor

I think that if writers are tempted to do other things, they ought to go do other things. They should not write…

— Garrison Keillor

It was a pleasure to have somebody else be the boss. It wouldn't have been nearly as much fun any other way.…

— Garrison Keillor

The reason to retire is to try to avoid embarrassment; you ought to do it before people are dropping big hints. You…

— Garrison Keillor

People meet writers and are bowled over when the writer is friendly to them and invites them to his house for a…

— Garrison Keillor

You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed…

— Garrison Keillor

The thought of people in this day and age sitting down to listen to a radio variety show on Saturday evening is…

— Garrison Keillor

Forget what you learned about poetry in school. (That it's complex, opaque, a problem to be solved in 1500 words by tomorrow.)…

— Garrison Keillor

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon, and that's probably one reason why we get along…

— Garrison Keillor

This is Democratic bedrock: we don't let people lie in the ditch and drive past and pretend not to see them dying.…

— Garrison Keillor

What keeps faith cheerful is the extreme persistence of gentleness and humor. Gentleness is everywhere in daily life, a sign that faith…

— Garrison Keillor

The majority of people who keel over dead at concerts are killed by a long trumpet passage.

— Garrison Keillor

Sometimes you have to avoid mentioning things because people's feelings are tender.

— Garrison Keillor

I don't associate work with feelings of satisfaction. Rather, guilt, frustration, and resentment of people who write better than I do.

— Garrison Keillor

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by…

— Garrison Keillor

It is more worthy in the eyes of God . . . if a writer makes three pages sharp and funny about…

— Garrison Keillor

One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in…

— Garrison Keillor

I grew up in a fundamentalist protestant family that stressed that we were a select people and so we were to avoid…

— Garrison Keillor

Just because we're fictional characters doesn't mean you can pick us up and move us anywhere you want.--the people of Lake Woebegon

— Garrison Keillor

No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this.

— Garrison Keillor

Take care of your friends. Because there will come a time when you'll be no good to anyone, and the only reason…

— Garrison Keillor

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

— Garrison Keillor