When every high school graduate can spell the word, 'inauguration,' let's put lampshades on our heads and listen to his speeches until Obama's voice gives out. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share Image
The problem with cats is that they get the same exact look whether they see a moth or an ax-murderer. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I don't need a holiday or a feast to feel grateful for my children, the sun, the moon, the roof over my head, music,… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
There are really only so many foods and so many ways you can prepare them. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I like to work on New Year's Eve. It has a nice spirit; a nice feel about it. If you are all about the… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
“Deep-rooted happiness may require a sense of purpose. If I don't feel that I am in some small way contributing to the greater good,… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I did auditions at a club called the Comedy Connection. They wanted nothing to do with me. But one night they were doing a… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I can make things, but I don't cook them, exactly. Like salmon, I can stick that in a pan. Or the other day I… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I've always thought that if my death was imminent, I would read. When I can't focus on a book, I tend to keep reading… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I know a little bit about handicapping. If the horse has an IV, you want to stay - away from it. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to… — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do. — Paula Poundstone Copy Share
