Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th' ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
If Christian scientists had more science and doctors more Christianity, it wouldn't make any difference which you called in - if you had a… — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf… — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better - it is just turning around as usual. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
Politics ain't beanbag: 'tis a man's game, and women, children 'n' pro-hy-bitionists had best stay out of it. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
“What I wud do if I was Buller, an' I thank Hivin I'm not, wud be move me ar-rmy in half-an-hour over th' high… — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
That is, no matther whether th' constitution follows th' flag or not, th' supreme coort follows th' iliction returns. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels. — Finley Peter Dunne Copy Share Image
