President Bush spent the day calling names he couldn't pronounce in countries he never knew existed. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today is February 14th - St. Valentine's day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as Extortion day. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Ratings for the XFL are so low that pretty soon they'll be able to address the viewers by name. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This problem with illegal immigration is nothing new. In fact, the Indians had a special name for it. They called it "white… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated with crime. From now on, they'll just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
For some reason, the Secret Service revealed this, that Sarah Palin's Secret Service code name is 'Denali.' Turns out 'Denali' is an… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Houston Astros want to change the name of Enron Field where they play. I guess the Enron name could cause problems… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry was the big winner in Iowa. Ted Kennedy introduced Kerry as the 'comeback kid.' That used to be Bill Clinton's… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton is now facing a kind of personal dilemma. She can't decide whether to drop the name Clinton from… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Arnold Schwarzenegger has still not officially bowed out of this race. It looks like he's not gonna run. But I'll tell ya,… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Now this really annoys me: All these people getting on the Internet and saying Nostradamus predicted this. If Nostradamus were alive today… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The White House approved an exemption in Obamacare coverage for Congress and members of their staff. Members complained that the Affordable Care… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Folks, we're starting to learn more and more about that man arrested in the New York SUV car bombing case. His name… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
This Tony Haywire guy, whatever his name is, he told the BBC on Sunday that he believes the new oil cap that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There are now reports that President Obama will name Massachusetts Senator John Kerry to be the next secretary of defense. Apparently this… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The federal government said today they've begun training sessions for airport security workers to provide what they call more customer satisfaction to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Obama met with leaders of the American Indian tribes and they honored the president by giving him his own Indian name:… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Rick Perry was philosophical about (his election losses). He said, 'Last week was Iowa. Yesterday was New Hampshire. ' He said at… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The nation's largest savings and loan, Washington Mutual, has become the biggest bank failure in history. See, the problem with the savings… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Mitt Romney has a new fundraising gimmick. If you donate $3 or more to his campaign, your name will be entered into… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A jury found former Enron sleezeballs Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling guilty of fraud and conspiracy. Ken Lay? That's not a good… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
