Money Quotes by Mark Twain

His money is twice tainted: taint yours and taint mine.

— Mark Twain

We have the best government that money can buy.

— Mark Twain

Virtue has never been as respectable as money.

— Mark Twain

Geological time is not money.

— Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

— Mark Twain

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

— Mark Twain

If all men were rich, all men would be poor.

— Mark Twain

To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth.

— Mark Twain

Unexpected money is a delight. The same sum is a bitterness when you expected more.

— Mark Twain

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must.

— Mark Twain

The offspring of riches: Pride, vanity, ostentation, arrogance, tyranny

— Mark Twain

When red-headed people are above a certain social grade their hair is auburn.

— Mark Twain

I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

— Mark Twain

There are two times in a man's life when he should not speculate: when he can't afford it, and when he can.

— Mark Twain

“Work like you don't need the money. Dance like no one is watching. And love like you've never been hurt.”

— Mark Twain

Scientists have odious manners, except when you prop up their theory; then you can borrow money of them.

— Mark Twain

To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man…

— Mark Twain

The old man laughed loud and joyously, shook up the details of his anatomy from head to foot, and ended by saying…

— Mark Twain

“Some men worship rank, some worship heroes, some worship power, some worship God, & over these ideals they dispute & cannot unite--but…

— mark twain

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through…

— Mark Twain

Being rich ain't what it's cracked up to be. It's just worry and worry, and sweat and sweat, and a-wishing you was…

— Mark Twain

The Indian may seem poor to we rich Westerners but in matters of the spirit it is we who are the paupers…

— Mark Twain

All my life I have been honest-comparatively honest. I could never use money I had not made honestly-I could only lend it.

— Mark Twain

I wish I could make him understand that a loving good heart is riches enough, and that without it intellect is poverty.

— Mark Twain

I went to the circus, and loafed around the back side till the watchman went by, and then dived in under the…

— Mark Twain

What is the chief end of man?-to get rich. In what way?-dishonestly if we can; honestly if we must. Who is God,…

— Mark Twain

“My financial views are of the most decided character, but they are not likely, perhaps, to increase my popularity with the advocates…

— Mark Twain

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket" - which is but a matter of saying, "Scatter…

— Mark Twain

I think that the reason why we Americans seem to be so addicted to trying to get rich suddenly is merely because…

— Mark Twain

The newspaper that obstructs the law on a trivial pretext, for money's sake, is a dangerous enemy to the public weal. That…

— Mark Twain

I believe that our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey. I believe that whenever a human being,…

— Mark Twain

“His wife, Electra, was a capable helpmeet, although—like himself— a dreamer of dreams and a private dabbler in romance. The first thing…

— Mark Twain

Knighterrantry is a most chuckleheaded trade, and it is tedious hard work, too, but I begin to see that there is money…

— Mark Twain

“These coins are not very valuable. Jack went out to get a napoleon changed, so as to have money suited to the…

— Mark Twain

“Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the…

— Mark Twain

“Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money that the robbers hid in the…

— Mark Twain

Will a day come when the race will detect the funniness of these juvenilities and laugh at them—and by laughing at them…

— Mark Twain

The only people that a bank will loan money to is the very people who don't need it.

— Mark Twain

How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it.

— Mark Twain

Why waste your money looking up your family tree? Just go into politics and your opponent will do it for you.

— Mark Twain