Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost. The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately to defeat him, and the… — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
Unpleasant questions are being raised about Mother's Day. Is this day necessary? . . . Isn't it bad public policy? . . . No politician with half his senses, which a majority of politicians have, is likely to vote for its abolition, however. As a class, mothers are tender and loving, but as a voting bloc they would not hesitate… — Russell Baker Copy Share
The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars. — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
In writing, punctuation plays the role of body language. It helps readers hear you the way you want to be heard. — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
Kingsley Amis was one of a trio of brilliant comic novelists who made English literature sparkle in the twentieth century. — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
Life seemed to be an educator's practical joke in which you spent the first half learning and the second half learning that everything you… — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens… — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
After two years studying what rewrite men did with the facts I phoned them, I knew that journalism was essentially a task of stringing… — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
American foreign policy had still not recovered from its victory over communism when George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice took over at the White… — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
Anything that isn't opposed by about 40 percent of humanity is either an evil business or so unimportant that it simply doesn't matter. — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond. — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British and all European society now is — Russell Baker Copy Share Image
