Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Did you see Walker's father? 'My son loves America.' Yeah, like O.J. loved his wife. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The key to a long and healthy marriage is that, honestly, there's nothing worth fighting about. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Do you realize that the Bush administration has now produced more gay marriages than jobs? — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
At his wife's 60th birthday party in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Dick Cheney had a huge steak and battered onion rings for dinner.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Anthony Weiner and his wife, Huma, have given birth to a baby boy. He posted a photo of the new baby on… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
First there's the promise ring, then the engagement ring, then the wedding ring... soon after... comes Suffer...ring! — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
And some sad news... the first lesbian couple to legally get married in the state of Massachusetts has split up. They cited… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
65% of people say that cheating on your income tax is worse than cheating on your spouse. The other 35% were women. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Dean's wife, Judith Steinberg, made a rare appearance with Dean. She's a doctor, so I guess they brought her in to stop… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John Kerry announced that he and his wife are leaving on a week-long vacation. He's going to take her back to the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The first lady said about her husband, 'I could take up a whole afternoon talking about his failures.' And today she was… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hillary Clinton's opponent in the U.S. Senate race, the Republican she's going to be running against, has been married three times, had… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Attorney General John Ashcroft has been hospitalized. I believe he is suffering from homophobia. No, actually, it was just gallstones, but when… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Governor Rick Perry now says his wife has been encouraging him to run for President. Remember first he told us God… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jesse Jackson also said he thought Barack Obama was talking down to black people by lecturing them on things like fatherhood and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Massachusetts became the first state to marry gay couples, though lawmakers say allowing gay couples to get married raises a lot of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
They had a profile of John Kerry on the news and they said his first wife was worth around $300 million and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President Bush said he was 'troubled' by gay people getting married in San Francisco. He said on important issues like this the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
That must be strange, cheating on your wife with a flight attendant. They're in bed and she's says, 'In the event that… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The CEO of Enron, Jeffrey Skilling, married one of the Enron secretaries this week. It's amazing how romantic these Enron guys can… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
A survey asked married women when they most want to have sex. 84 per cent of them said right after their husband… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Clinton vetoed the repeal of the marriage tax. I guess Bill figures if he's married, then we all have to suffer. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jesse Jackson's wife was arrested in Puerto Rico while protesting the naval bombings there. Jesse said he was holding a meeting with… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Here is your government at work. A congressman from Colorado said he wants to draft a rule that would make it unethical to have… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Jack Abramoff is going to testify against some of the other weasels in Congress. A lobbyist testifying against congressmen? How many Bibles are going… — Jay Leno Copy Share
Tomorrow, America's most famous hockey mom, Sarah Palin, will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Flyers game. Right afterwards, she'll get out… — Jay Leno Copy Share
