That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share Image
“Aren't all marriages kind of gay? As a man, when you get marries, essentially what you're saying is 'I will never touch another woman… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
Hurricane Katrina has been particularly hard on President Bush, who was forced to end his vacation two days early. He was supposed to be… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
I don't want to ruin it for you, but at the end, Voldemort kills Harry with a fairly vivious atomic wedgie. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else. — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
The TSA downgraded the threat level for flights between the U.S. and England from severe to high. So if you're nervous about taking a… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
I don't know if we can call ourselves everyday Joes. I think Supermen is more appropriate. We're just trying to take back the medium… — Jimmy Kimmel Copy Share
