Bad news travels at the speed of light; good news travels like molasses. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
When Richard Pryor did comedy, it was like he was having a conversation. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
It's like going to the zoo when you come to my house. I have snakes, three sharks, moray eels, piranhas, five scorpions… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
I don't get on the phone and prank people and things like that on the phone with people, no. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
My fans would love to see Brian Fellow come back. I love my fans. And they like my edge. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
America doesn't like to hear about things like welfare. 'Don't talk about that. We don't like what it did to people!' Yeah,… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
We need to learn to laugh at ourselves because when you don't laugh, you cry. And I don't feel like crying. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
People are just way too sensitive. You couldn't have a show like 'Archie Bunker' on TV. People would go crazy; they would… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
If she's not spoken for, and you come at her correctly, like a man, she'll get with you. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
There's nothing in the world like live entertainment. With TV, you have to wait for your results; with live entertainment, people let… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
A stand-up's job is to hold the mirror up to society and to look at what we're afraid of. That's why we… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
I deal with my sons like young men. If they have a problem with something, they come to me. I am the… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
In New York, we get down. In L.A., everybody's pretty much standing around like they're at a keg stand. You got to… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
I have friends who are black, white, purple, gay, straight, Martian, yellow, old, and young. I have friends who are animals and… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
I don't need no stool and mike stand. I don't need all of that to be funny. I've been funny my whole… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
My father was the role model I looked up. My dad was an entertainer, too. I patterned my life after him. He wanted me… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have turned it… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
The further you go, what, I'm gonna wait til I'm 80? Naw, I'm tellin' my story now. I was just moved. I was moved… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
I'm not a hateful person and don't condone any kind of violence against others, — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
I'm around my kids every day. I'm regular. We're a regular family. My wife cooks, she washes clothes, I read books, I pump my… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
You can't hold me to the same standard as the president or a school teacher. I'm just a comedian. My job is like Archie… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
I was never a big comic book fan. I was always more into the baseball cards. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
If I gamble, I'll play roulette. My wife and I will play roulette, and that's about it. I'm not a heavy gambler. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
I love being around people who love to do what I love to do, which is comedy. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
Anybody who's lived in the ghetto knows that you don't move during the daytime. Here's why: You don't want anyone to know you're leaving,… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
What am I afraid of? The IRS. Thats it. I dont want those people knockin on my door, man. — Tracy Morgan Copy Share
